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Saturday, December 24, 2011

Winter TV Round-Up 2012

ALCATRAZ (FOX) A
TOUCH (FOX) A
PROJECT RUNWAY ALL*STARS (LIFETIME) B
MOBBED (FOX) B
WORK IT (ABC) B- CANCELLED!!!!
ROB! (CBS) B-
CELEBRITY WIFE SWAP (ABC) B-
ARE YOU THERE CHELSEA (NBC) C+
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (FOX) C+
I JUST WANT MY PANTS BACK (MTV) C+
ANGRY BOYS (HBO) C-
THE FINDER (FOX) C-
LOST GIRL (SYFY) C-
THE FIRM (NBC) C-
THE FADES (BBCAMERICA) C-
HOUSE OF LIES (SHOWTIME) D+
JANE BY DESIGN (ABCFAMILY) D+
UNSUPERVISED (FX) D
BETTY WHITE'S OFF THEIR ROCKERS (NBC) D-
LUCK (HBO) D
REMODELED (CW) F

Winter TV Review: I Just Want My Pants Back

MTV also previewed an early-2012 show (this one was back in late August following Awkward's run. I JUST...is the story about a guy who hooks up with a girl and loses his pants in the morning when she wears them. And the bloke just wants those pants back, natch. Its a flimsy set-up, and only marginally entertaining. I have no clue where the show can go from here, and for that reason I am mildly curious to tune in again for episode 2. I just want him to get his pants back, of course. C+

WINTER TV REVIEW: Luck

HBO bet big on sneak-previewing its new horse/race track drama LUCK starring Dustin Hoffman in early December ahead of its 2012 winter run, and I'm glad it did because this is one less show I have to DVR. Hard as I tried, I could only get through the first half before deleting the pilot episode. The pacing is slow, and for a racing drama, that's just good. The 'mane' thing to like about the show is some snazzy production values. Other than that, a D grade.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

FALL TV REVIEW: IMPRACTICAL JOKERS

TRU TV unfolds the latest idiotic show...this one has 4 guys who dare each other to do outrageous stunts, only in the pilot the stunts were pretty tame. I tuned out when the 'punishment' was having the loser pick up dog feces in a bark park. D+

FALL TV REVIEW: Who's Still Standing and You Deseve It

Two new game shows hit the airwaves this holiday season: ABC's YOU DESERVE IT for Thanksgiving and NBC's WHO'S STILL STANDING for Christmas. Both are pretty much standard nighttime game shows. With YOU DESERVE IT, the contestant is playing for someone in need, and it's pretty schmaltzy stuff. STILL STANDING is a little more fun, with contestants dropping through the floor when they guess wrong or are ousted. Both don't really offer up anything new to the format, and for that I give them both a D+

Monday, December 12, 2011

Fall TV Review: The Exes

TVLand rolls out another original situation comedy, following the huge success of HOT IN CLEVELAND and lesser-successes RETIRED AT 35 and HAPPILY DIVORCED. THE EXES, starring TV-faves Kristen Johnson (3rd Rock From The Sun), Donald Faison (Scrubs and Clueless) and Wayne Knight (Seinfeld), THE EXES centers around divorce lawyer Kristen as she has funny escapades with her male clients. Two eps in and I'm enjoying it, though the show is a bit tame and predicable. But whereas RETIRED and HAPPILY left me a bit bored, THE EXES shows some spark in the vein of CLEVELAND. B

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Fall TV Review: I Hate My Teenage Daughter

FOX kept this comedy on the back-burner for almost the entire fall, and by the look of the pilot, one can see why. It doesnt have the charm of NEW GIRL, nor is it particularly biting enough to make it cult-edgy. The two lead actresses are brilliant in their acting and comedic delivery, but the rest of this sitcome about two high-school-bullied girls who grow up to breed mean girls is just so-so entertainment. Not a total waste, just not particularly worth investing in, either. C

Saturday, December 3, 2011

FALL TV TOP TEN

1. ONCE UPON A TIME (ABC) This whimsical ABC drama was the sleeper hit of the fall, surprising critics and obliterating all predictions that the show would meet a quick death. Instead it became the hottest drama of the fall, and helped pump a little more juice into the pathetic season 8 of Desperate Housewives. I love the two worlds, and love the visuals. Havent had a show like this on the air since Pushing Daisies.

2. REVENGE (ABC) ABC also re-invented the nighttime sudser with this smart drama about a woman scorned, and the lengths she'd go to to exact revenge on those who'd done her daddy wrong. Each episode gets more and more delicious, and the cast is stunning to watch - especially the actor who plays the soon-to-get-shot Daniel Graystone.

3. ENLIGHTENED (HBO) I had no clue that this new HBO dramedy would be so damn great! It has an indie-movie feel to it, but the writing and acting are top-notch, and I swear I've shed a tear or have been moved with each and every episode. The highlight of the season so far is when the two leads take a canoe trip and having a bonding experience.

4. AMERICAN HORROR STORY (FX) After the successes of vampires (True Blood) and zombies (Walking Dead) on cable, ghosts got their chance to scare up audiences in Ryan Murphy's new kinky thriller drama haunted house story. After a questionable start, the show has really found its groove and has totally drawn me in. Here's hoping new tenants move in next season, though. Oh, and Dylan McDermott's ass is HOT. I also kinda got turned on when the cheating half of the gay couple got his pants and underwear torn down his butt by Rubber Man.

5. NEW GIRL (FOX) Zooey Deschanel earns her paycheck every week as the adorable star of this new sitcom. The 3 male roomies are strictly background noise at this point. Hard to imagine the show would work without its female lead.

6. THE SECRET CIRCLE (CW) This Kevin Williamson teen show about intergenerational covens of witches started strong, but has weakened in recent weeks. Its becoming a bit too convoluted and needs to ease up on the angst a bit.

7. RINGER (CW) Soapy, but not nearly as fun as ABC's Revenge. Sarah Michelle Gellar is good as the twins Siobhan and Bridget. It's less-filling trash, but still kinda satisfying if you get into it. And I did.

8. GRIMM (NBC) Great pilot, but the acting and writing are juvenile. I still have faith that this show will find the right tone. Comedy is good, but lame procedural drama isn't.

9. UP ALL NIGHT (NBC) A tri-fecta of comedy experts (Married With Children's Christina Applegate, Arrested Development's Will Arnett, and SNL's Maya Rudolph) joined forces in this baby-rearing comedy that also incorporated a funny workplace com complete with America's Got Talent's Nick Cannon. The results were ALMOST-hilarious, just not laugh-out-loud. With some tweaking, this has the potential to become great, or is it a one-note comedy centering around that baby Ava? Less baby, more Maya!

10. THE EXES (TVLAND) Great cast, needs better writing. 'Nuff said.

RUNNER-UPS:


11. 2 BROKE GIRLS (CBS) It was hard for me to like this show at first, but it has slowly grown on me. The tragic part of the show is the lame supporting cast that backs up the diner where our waitresses work. I also think Kat Dennings is a bit too snarky. Oh, and whats up with that horse in their back yard? Winter is coming...

12. TERRA NOVA (FOX) This and CHARLIES ANGELS were two shows that I was most looking forward to. Sucks that TERRA NOVA became a schmaltzy Spielberg family drama. So much potential wasted...

13. THE X FACTOR (FOX) THis first year of the singing competition has some kinks to work out, such as ditching host Steve Jones, axing Nicole, and even possibly the annoying LA Reid. Keep Simon and Paula and bring in a current recording artist (THE VOICE masters this with Adam, CeeLo, Xtina and Blake) and a Nick Cannon-like host to keep things funny. Also, the first year had some less-than-inspiring finalists.

14. CHARLIE'S ANGELS (ABC) This one should have been a hit, if only the casting had been better. Oh, and why was it so serious? People expect escapism out of their ANGELS, not this current CSI-like procedural crap.

15. WHITNEY (NBC) Should have been funnier...

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Fall TV Review: For Better or Worse

Tyler Perry's new, umm, comedy (?) on TBS fails spectacuraly both as a, well, comedy, and also as a drama. I'm not sure what tone the show was aiming for, and therefor found the opening 10 minutes to be a total trainwreck. But WOOF to the lead actor....I had to pause my DVR when he stepped out of the shower. F

Monday, November 14, 2011

FALL TV ROUND-UP 2011

ONCE UPON A TIME (ABC) A+
TERRA NOVA (FOX) A
PAN AM (ABC) A
CHARLIE'S ANGELS (ABC) A
ENLIGHTENED (HBO) A-
AMERICAN HORROR STORY (FX) A-
THE SECRET CIRCLE (CW) A-
GRIMM (NBC) A-
NEW GIRL (FOX) B+
HELL ON WHEELS (AMC) B+
SUBURGATORY (ABC) B+
REVENGE (ABC) B
RINGER (CW) B
THE EXES (TVLAND) B
RINGER (CW) B
PROJECT ACCESSORY (LIFETIME) B
WHITNEY (NBC) B
MAD FASION (BRAVO) B
2 BROKE GIRLS (CBS) B-
UP ALL NIGHT (NBC) B-
X FACTOR (FOX) B-
HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN (CBS) B-
DAVE'S OLD PORN (SHOWTIME) B-
PUPPIES VS BABIES (ANIMAL) B-
PLAYBOY CLUB (NBC) C+
A GIFTED MAN (CBS) C+
I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER (FOX) C
PRIME SUSPECT (NBC) C
PERSON OF INTEREST (CBS) C-
HOMELAND (SHOWTIME) C-
ROCK CENTER WITH BRIAN WILLIAMS (NBC) C-
FREE AGENTS (NBC) C-
BOSS (STARZ) C-
MAJORS & MINORS (HUB) C-
HART OF DIXIE (CW) D+
ALLEN GREGORY (FOX) D+
UNFORGETTABLE (CBS) D+
WHO'S STILL STANDING (NBC) D+
YOU DESERVE IT (ABC) D+
IMPRACTICAL JOKERS (TRU) D+
THE HEART, SHE HOLLER (CARTOON) D+
MILLION DOLLAR MIND GAME (ABC) D+
FASHION HUNTERS (BRAVO) D+
LAST MAN STANDING (ABC) D
BEDLAM (BBCAMERICA) D
DIRTY SOAP (E) D
GOOD VIBES (MTV) D-
MAN UP! (ABC) F
REED BETWEEN THE LINES (BET) F
FOR BETTER OR WORSE (TBS) F
H8R (CW) F

Fall TV Review: The Heart, She Holler

Cartoon Network has had some live-action hits (CHILDRENS HOSPITAL and NTSF: SD: SUV), but this knock-off on soap operas is offensive shit. Blech! D+

Fall TV Review: ROCK CENTER with BRIAN WILLIAMS

Just another nighttime newsmag, this one featuring Briam Williams of the NBC Nightly News. He is a charmer, but I was bored nonetheless. Nothing special here as a whole. C-

Fall TV Review: Dave's Old Porn

This new Showtime show is all about talking heads talking about, um, heads...and vajayjays. Its pretty hysterical stuff in the vain of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000. Never has vintage porn ever been so fun to watch...and check out the hairy muffs and butt cracks from that 70's porno shows. B-

Fall TV Review: BOSS

Kelsey Grammer had a critical hit that bombed (Back To You) and a critical bomb that exploded (Hank) in the years since he made himself famous on FRASIER and CHEERS. Then he showed what an asshole he was by dumping his Real Housewife Camille for the world to see. Now all his drama goes to his advantage as he plays a corrupt politician who has been given a death sentence. I found BOSS to be boring, which is how I have found almost anything STARZ has put out, except for SPARTACUS (cumming Jan 27, 2012 and not soon enough) C-

Fall TV Review: Hell On Wheels

I can't remember the last time I've seen a western work on TV, and AMC strikes gold once again with this tale starring Colm Meaney as an evil tycoon and Common as a slave. Spectacular cinematography make up for a few holes in the plot, but it's moving entertainment and I'm hooked. The characters have secrets, and that always makes for good appointment viewing. The show is about the building a railroad, and damn it it doesnt stay on track. B+

Fall TV Review: Project Accessory

LIFETIME goes to the RUNWAY well and comes up with a knock-off of designers trying to woo and wow with their accessories on the runway. There's even a Heidi Klum clone in host Milly Simms. Still, they 'made it work'. B

Fall TV Review: Reed Between The Lines

Malcolm Jamal-Warner tries for his own COSBY SHOW miracle, but where that classic sitcom had the genius Bill Cosby and great writers, this BET wannabe has neither. It was torture sitting through the pilot. F

Fall TV Review: Good Vibes

If idiotic cartoons are your passion, then by all means check out MTV's slacker 'toon called GOOD VIBES. i found it a snooze fest. D-

Fall TV Review: GRIMM

The standard crime procedural gets an upgrade in NBC's GRIMM as it merges fairy tales with the bloodletting. THe opener was creepy and engaging enough to make me take note. I look forward to seeing what other grimm tales await. The lead is a hottie, and in the opener he trails a killer of little red riding hood. A-

Fall TV Review: Allen Gregory

It seems like FOX just can't seem to greenlight and get on the air a worthy show to sit beside SIMPSONS and FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD. They tried last year with BOBS BURGERS, and that show sucked. Now this season it is the Jonah Hill-produced and title-voiced character ALLEN GREGORY that misses the mark. The pilot was mean-spirited, and I found it hard to root for the pompous little brat that is Allen G. D+

Monday, October 24, 2011

Fall TV Review: Puppies Vs Babies

This new show on Animal Planet pits video clips of puppies vs clips of babies in 16-bracket game grid. Pretty predictable stuff, but also kinda fun to pass the hour. B-

Fall TV Review: Million Dollar Mind Game

Its easy to see why ABC is burning off this new game show on Sunday afternoons: The editing is frenetic, and the premise just isnt that engaging. The jist: A group of 6 friends(or coworkers, etc) have to answer guestions to get to the million dollars without getting 4 wrong ones during the game. Its pretty much a premise thats been done before, and much better. D+

Fall TV Review: Once Upon A Time

ABC's new fantasy drama was easily the most satisfying new drama premiere of the fall, and had me clapping at the end (a rarity these days). I like the two worlds of the fairy tale lore and modern day intermingling, and the cast is top-notch. Jennifer MOrrison is fantasic as Emma - the woman who returns to Storybrooke Maine to discover her past. Well-cast and a visual delight. A+

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Fall TV Review: Man Up!

Whoa! Just when I thought a comedy couldnt get worse than ABC's LAST MAN STANDING, along comes MAN UP - an even less funny sitcom than the Tim Allen tragedy. Also on ABC, Man Up doesnt do men any service - it presents us as total buffoons. After 15 minutes, I realized I hadnt chirped a single laugh. And that's just pathetic. F

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Fall TV Review: Enlightened

This new HBO dramedy surprised me. It plays like an indie movie, with little slices of Laura Dern's life. From the opening scene of her corporate meltdown (laughed my ass off with her screaming face in the elevator as she tries to tear the doors open)to the dramatic inspiring finale as she looks up and see a turtle floating in the water (Yep, i shed a tear). Its well-acted, and a refreshing break from the Showtime dramadies that rely too much on things like cancer (BIG C), addiction (NURSE JACKIE) and mental illness (UNITED STATES OF TARA). A-

Fall TV Review: Last Man Standing

Tim Allen's new comedy is so riduculously embarassing. My how far the once-mighty have fallen. His old-school comedy shtick doesnt work in 2011 the way it did when HOME IMPROVEMENT ruled the tube throughout the nineties. At least back then the writing was clever. Now Tim just comes across as a boor to his kids. Each set-up to his jokey wisdom is groan-inducing. There is not a bit of heart either to his curmudgeon-like character, and he is also woefully homophobic (a further step backward). I can't see this show surviving the season, not when ABC has such a rich Wednesday night with The Middle, Suburgatory, Modern Family and Happy Endings (With Cougar Town and Don't Trust the Bitch in Apt 23 on deck). D

Monday, October 10, 2011

Fall TV Review: American Horror Story

Thank GLEE creators Ryan Murphy and Brad Fulchuck for kicking off a spooky new show on FX that has ghosts, sex, men jerking off, rubber-suited mystery man fucking Connie Britton, a creepy house, weird twins, and sooooo much more. Plus an EXCELLENT Jessica Lange. This show proves that CABLE is the destination for edgy drama. A show like this would have been so watered down on broadcast. Only cable can do this adult spook show justice. Dylon McDermott and Connie Britton and Jessica Lange act their asses off, by the way. A-

FALL TV REVIEW: Mad Fashion

Sure, its another reality show, but when the subject is PROJECT RUNWAY fan fave Chris March, the result is a hoot. I love his gang, and I love this show. A bit predictable, but Chris brings a flair to it that others have tried (and failed) Bravo, BRAVO! B

FALL TV REVIEW: Fashion Hunters

SNOOOOOOZE. This one is about a group of people in NY who hunt for high-end clothes on a dime. About as interesting as watching a turtle cross the road. Sorry, Bravo. D+

Fall TV Review: Bedlam

Poor BBC, you just don't know how to make an interesting genre drama. I was BORED with BEDLAM, a ghost-in-a-hotel misfire. D

Fall TV Review: Dirty Soap

E has just about scraped the bottom of the celebreality barrell with this misfire that follows the personal stories of soap actors. Now, normally in a show like this follows normal people, one can smell its all an act. But knowing that its bad-acting soap actors 'acting' bad for the cameras makes this a real pile of stink. D

Fall TV Review: Majors & Minors

It's on The HUB, and its about young kids trying to make it in the music biz. There is no elimination, just lots of teaching the do's and dont's of the biz. Mindless. C-

Fall TV Review: Homeland

Showtime has a new drama on the air. Critics love it, but the pilot, to me, was ugly to watch. I realize the content is strong subject matter, but I just didnt feel like a happy camper watching this well-acted series about a possible rogue soldier returned after being a POW for over 7 years. Claire Danes is the (un)stable agent trying to convince Washington that he's now a secret spy/terrorist. If this is your type of show and subject matter, you'll probably like it. I prefer more escapist TV. C-

FALL TV ROUND-UP 2011

ONCE UPON A TIME (ABC) A+
TERRA NOVA (FOX) A
PAN AM (ABC) A
CHARLIE'S ANGELS (ABC) A
THE SECRET CIRCLE (CW) A-
AMERICAN HORROR STORY (FX) A-
ENLIGHTENED (HBO) A-
GRIMM (NBC) A-
NEW GIRL (FOX) B+
HELL ON WHEELS (AMC) B+
SUBURGATORY (ABC) B+
REVENGE (ABC) B
WHITNEY (NBC) B
RINGER (CW) B
PROJECT ACCESSORY (LIFETIME) B
MAD FASION (BRAVO) B
UP ALL NIGHT (NBC) B-
X FACTOR (FOX) B-
2 BROKE GIRLS (CBS) B-
HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN (CBS) B-
DAVE'S OLD PORN (SHOWTIME) B-
PUPPIES VS BABIES (ANIMAL) B-
PLAYBOY CLUB (NBC) C+
A GIFTED MAN (CBS) C+
PRIME SUSPECT (NBC) C
PERSON OF INTEREST (CBS) C-
HOMELAND (SHOWTIME) C-
ROCK CENTER WITH BRIAN WILLIAMS (NBC) C-
FREE AGENTS (NBC) C-
BOSS (STARZ) C-
MAJORS & MINORS (HUB) C-
HART OF DIXIE (CW) D+
ALLEN GREGORY (FOX) D+
UNFORGETTABLE (CBS) D+
THE HEART, SHE HOLLER (CARTOON) D+
MILLION DOLLAR MIND GAME (ABC) D+
FASHION HUNTERS (BRAVO) D+
LAST MAN STANDING (ABC) D
BEDLAM (BBCAMERICA) D
DIRTY SOAP (E) D
GOOD VIBES (MTV) D-
MAN UP! (ABC) F
REED BETWEEN THE LINES (BET) F
H8R (CW) F

Fall TV Review: RINGER

Sarah Michelle Gellar does double-duty as twins Bridget (trashy) and Siobhan (Rich). Lots of twists and turns make this show a sudsy fun surprise. An unfortunate fake-CGI boat scene nearly drowns the show, but by episode 2 I was hooked on finding out more about this unraveling mystery. B

Fall TV Review: HART OF DIXIE

Rachel Bilson is SOOOO unbelievable as a doctor, that I had to moan and groan just five minutes into this new drama. Then she is uprooted and sent to a hick-like small town full of quirky characters who embrace her and welcome her with open arms. Rachel, who wanted to practice in the big city, decides to stay in smallville instead. Whatever! D+

Fall TV Review: A Gifted Man

Hmmm, a show about a guy who sees ghosts on Friday night on CBS? PERFECT! But wait, this medical show is about a jerky doctor who has to get redeemed first by seeing visions of his recently deceased ex-wife who 'teaches' him to be a better person, and thus a better doctor. Eh, not for me. With that said, awesome production values. C+

Fall TV Review: Person Of Interest

I had high hopes for this JJ ABRAMS show because it brought back to the small screen the excellent Michael Emerson (Ben Linus to you LOSTies). Michael is good here, as is James Cavaziel. But it being CBS means the show is going to explore crimes in typical procedual fashion. This one has the benefit of being a bit sci-fi in nature, or rather science fact depending on who you ask. In a jist, Emerson's character can predict crimes that are about to happen from a high-tech piece of software that he created. The pilot was slooooow to go, and so I tuned out. Maybe it got better? C-

Fall TV Review: Unforgettable

Poppy Montgomery is one of my favorite actresses ( I thought she did a great portrayal of JK Rowlings in the recent Lifetime biopic). But with Unforgettable on CBS, she is stuck with a by-the-numbers procedural that the network consistently throws at viewers. There is nothing original here at all. SIDENOTE: dramas are tanking this season, while comedy is king. Could we finally have a reversal and start to see the once-mighty CBS start to tank, too, because of their over-reliance on crime shows. One can only hope. But back to Unforgettable: If you care to know, its about a woman who never forgets any little detail in her life. I guess only a few people in the world have this, including Marilu Henner. For me, the show should drop the first two letters and then there would be an accurate name for the series. D+

Fall TV Review: How To Be A Gentleman

As I type this review, CBS has just officially cancelled this new comedy after it was moved from Thursday to Saturday after two low-rated airings after BIG BANG. The show WAS about a guy who rooms with a jerk (Kevin Dillon) as he writes a new column called 'How To Be A Gentleman'. The only thing really funny in the opener was Rhys Darby from FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS. I hope he finds something else soon. Dave Foley was funny, too...but they arent the leads, and so...RIP, Gentleman. B-

Fall TV Review: 2 BROKE GIRLS

For a show that has received tons of hype and loads of ratings and critical glory, I am in the minority that hasnt particularly warmed to this new CBS laffer. I love Beth Behrs in the role of a formerly rich girl, but Kat Dennings is too annoying in the one-dimensional role of her roommate/co-worker. I also think the supporting cast at the restaurant is mis-fire, save for Garrett Morris. The ongoing subplot is that the girls are trying to raise 250,000 to start up a cupcake business. At the end of the first episode they have roughly 350 dollars. Cute gimmick. B-

Fall TV Review: REVENGE

Emily VanCamp shines in this soapy ABC sudser about a girl who returns to the Hamptons to exact revenge on the people who wronged her father and sent him to jail. Each episode ends with Emily's character drawing an X over that night's victim. I love me a nightime soap and I am fascinated to see how far this gimmik can work. So far, it's guilty fun on a night of ABC comedic fun. Dont take REVENGE too seriously and you'll love it, too. B

Fall TV Review: Suburgatory

Jane Levy and Jeremy Sisto are good as a daugher who has her father move her to the suburbs after he finds condoms in her drawer. Cheryl Hines steels the show as a nosy neighbor, and the cookie-cutter look of the show sets it apart. Still not totally sold on the show, but i likey so far. B+

Fall TV Review: NEW GIRL

The rumors are true: Zooey Deschanel IS adorkable in the new FOX comedy NEW GIRL. I can't say the rest of the show is original (it reminds me of Happy Endings in many ways...or a new take on Threes Company with the sexes reversed and an extra guy thrown into the mix). Still, this is powerhouse vehicle for Zooey and she makes the most of it, engaging the viewer in her special take on a quirky girl in the city. B+

Fall TV Review: Prime Suspect

Oh, poor Maria Bello. How you annoy me so. And its not just that hat...its your whole take on the Jane Timoney character that Helen Mirren mastered for the BBC. Maria, your NBC show reeks of procedural excess that CBS does so often. I bid adieu, Miss Bello. C

Fall TV Review: Whitney

This NBC laffer harkens back to the days of MAD ABOUT YOU and SEINFELD, and its not a total mess. In fact, I rather enjoy this kind of show...its much better controlled than the rash of romcoms that invaded last season (Perfect Couples, Friends With Benefits, Happy Endings, Mad Love, etc etc). By zeroing in on Whitney Cummings and her live-in BF, the show has a chance to provide some idiotic fun. I mean really, how many single-cams does the universe really need? A few classic multi-cams are good, too. Just ask CBS. B

Fall TV Review: THE PLAYBOY CLUB

This NBC drama had the hype, but not the viewers...and became the first casualty of the season. The show was a bit bland for network TV and would have been a better fit on Showtime. Also, the storylines were rather weak and derivitave. Long-term it was hard to know where the show could go...would an ongoing series set in a Playboy Club be enough to sustain viewers? In the end, it just had the air of failure all around it. Bye, bunnies! C+

Fall TV Review: THE X FACTOR

This FOX music reality show is known more for the reunion of Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul than anything else, and the opener was rather lackluster as it meshed AMERICAS GOT TALENT with AMERICAN IDOL. Throw in some VOICE-like coach work in the coming weeks and the end result of X FACTOR is ...nothing original to report at all. Still, if you like the above shows that it resembles, you should find something to like about X. B-

Fall TV Review: Terra Nova

This highly-anticipated FOX series was 85 million + 2 years in the making, and the result was worth the wait. From the dystopian future to the bare-bones dinosaur past comes a family adventure set in a strange old world. It has lots of promise, but may have been a bit too tame and too Spielbergian. Still, with all it's hype, it was going to be hard to impress everyone. I am on for the ride, and I hope FOX sticks with it because this is the kind of TV that is so out of the box different from what the other nets are tossing at us. A

Friday, October 7, 2011

Fall TV Review: Pan Am

This nostalgic look at flight attendants during air travel's golden age is crisp, fun, well-written, and quite nostalgic. I also like how it doesnt revel in Mad Men-smoke fests. There is also an element of espionage and intrigue which has left me breathless for more. A

Fall TV Review: Charlie's Angels

This updated version of the seminal 70's classic doesnt quite live up to the original, but it is an interesting take on three girls being hired by an unseen Charlie and a HOTTTT new Bosley. Minka Kelly is so-so, but the real star of this update is Rachel Taylor. I just wish the show had gotten more sampling because it is thisclose to being canceled. I just hope it survives to episode 4: "Angels in Chains" with Lois Lane Erica Durance. A

Monday, September 19, 2011

Fall TV Review: The Secret Circle

Of the five new shows that premiered the week before the official start of the new TV season, the CW's Secret Circle is by far the best of the bunch. Whereas RINGER looks like it could get real old real fast, THE SECRET CIRCLE seems to have a broader vision, and more to work with. In the pilot, Cassie (Brit Robertson of Life Unexpected) finds out she is a witch, and together with the other five she- and he-witches in her coven, their circle is now complete - and much more powerful. The pilot sets this up good, and with enough backstory hints that there is something much darker going on in town. I liked the relationship between Brit and Thomas Dekker - especially their woodland scene (but enough with the Twilight schtick). If I have one gripe its that the show neeeds to add a bit of comedy into the mix for this to really soar. A-

Friday, September 16, 2011

Fall TV Review: H8R

The new season hasnt even officially started yet, but there is already a show that will most likely get Worst Show of The Season honors, if not Worst Show of The Year. That H8R is even on the air on the CW is a mystery. It's a terrible show that presents a celebreality star with some person from the internet who h8tes that celeb...and by the end, said person hugs it out with the H8tee. Blech! F

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Fall TV Review: Up All Night

I really love Maya Rudolph, and its great to see her back on TV as Ava - an Oprah-esque talk show diva. But the true angle of this NBC comedy is about the struggles of leads CHristina Applegate and Will Arnett as they try to maintain a semblance of their lives pre-baby - only now they have to balance it out with raising this little bundle of joy, even though they arent quite sure how to make it work. It's a grown-up version of shows that have tackled this theme before, but with Lorne Michaels producing, it has a similarity in feel to his 30 Rock. I would like to see those two shows paired up once Free Agents gets canceled. B-

Fall TV Review: Free Agents

This annoying comedy on NBC centers around Hank Azaria's character who cries and whines his way throughout the pilot, which takes place mostly at an ad agency full of requisite annoying office drones who all have the same personalities, more or less. This show is not warm and friendly, and therefore makes it very hard for the viewer to care what happens to anyone on a long-term basis. And trust me, Free Agents is the type of show that has short-term written all over it. Gone by Xmas. C-

Monday, September 12, 2011

Fall TV Round-up 2011

TERRA NOVA (FOX) A
PAN AM (ABC) A
CHARLIE'S ANGELS (ABC) A
THE SECRET CIRCLE (CW) A-
NEW GIRL (FOX) B+
SUBURGATORY (ABC) B+
WHITNEY (NBC) B
RINGER (CW) B
UP ALL NIGHT (NBC) B-
X FACTOR (FOX) B-
PLAYBOY CLUB (NBC) C+
PRIME SUSPECT (NBC) C
FREE AGENTS (NBC) C-
H8R (CW) F

Fall TV Review: Anderson

The syndicated ANDERSON kicks off my Fall TV reviews for the 2011-12 TV Season, and much like its host Anderson Cooper, the show is a class-act. The first episode centers on Amy Winehouse, who's subject matter is a bit heavy. Still, Anderson does the job, balancing a bit of humor in where he can. Future episodes look to be a bit more fun, like tomorrow's Best of Summer show..then ends on another tragedy this Friday with the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills show. I like this balancing act of fun and serious...this is definitely a show to keep an eye on. A-

Thursday, September 8, 2011

GENRE TV is Alive and Well This Fall

There are a number of exciting shows coming out this fall (at least they sound exciting on paper).

NEW:TERRA NOVA (FOX): This ambitious show is the biggie of the bunch. I am really looking forward to seeing what Spielberg does with this dino-mite show.
GRIMM (NBC): One of two fairy-tale shows, this is the darker.
ONCE UPON A TIME (ABC) Great cast and visuals. Could be a real triumph to the eye.
SECRET CIRCLE (CW) Another teen supernatural show. Looks good.
AMERICAN HORROR STORY (FX) Ryan Murphy brings it.

RETURNING:
FRINGE (FOX)
CHUCK (NBC)
SUPERNATURAL (CW)
VAMPIRE DIARIES (CW)
SANCTUARY (SYFY)
WALKING DEAD (AMC)

SUMMER 2011 TOP TEN

There were a number of notable new shows that I enjoyed watching this summer. Some started out great, then fizzled (Alphas, Love in the Wild, Love Bites), while others started weak barely capturing my attention only to end strong (Teen Wolf, Falling Skies, Awkward). Here are my ten favorite shows of summer 2011.

1. GLEE PROJECT (OXYGEN)
2. FALLING SKIES (TNT)
3. TEEN WOLF (MTV)
4. PLATINUM HITS (BRAVO)
5. AWKWARD (MTV)
6. TORCHWOOD (STARZ)
7. COME FLY WITH ME (BBCAMERICA)
8. HAPPILY DIVORCED (TVLAND)
9. NTSF: SD: SUV (CARTOON)
10. ROSEANNE'S NUTS (LIFETIME)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

SUMMER TV ROUND-UP 2011 FINAL

TORCHWOOD (STARZ) A
THE GLEE PROJECT (OXYGEN) A-
ALPHAS (SYFY) A-
COME FLY WITH ME (BBCAMERICA) A-
LOVE IN THE WILD (NBC) A-
HAPPILY DIVORCED (TVLAND) B+
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS (NBC) B+
NTSF: SD: SUV (CARTOON) B
ROSEANNE'S NUTS (LIFETIME) B
LOVE BITES (NBC) B
TEEN WOLF (MTV) B-
PLATINUM HIT (Bravo) B-
EXPEDITION IMPOSSIBLE (ABC) B-
NY INK (TLC) B-
FALLING SKIES (TNT) C+
AWKWARD (MTV) C+
FRANKLIN & BASH (TNT) C+
101 WAYS TO LEAVE A GAME SHOW (ABC) C+
THE LYING GAME (ABC FAMILY) C+
SWITCHED AT BIRTH (ABC FAMILY) C
AGAINST THE WALL (LIFETIME) C
ROCCOS DINNER PARTY (BRAVO) C
STATE OF GEORGIA (ABCFAMILY) C-
NINE LIVES OF CHLOE KING (ABC FAMILY) C-
NECESSARY ROUGHNESS (USA) C-
SUITS (USA) C-
FAMOUS FOOD (VH1) C-
DEATH VALLEY (MTV) D+
STRIKE BACK (CINEMAX) D+
SINGLE LADIES (VH1) D+
EXTREME MAKEOVER: WEIGHT LOSS (ABC) D+
COMMERCIAL KINGS (IFC) D+
IT'S WORTH WHAT? (NBC) D+
WILFRED (FX) D
KARAOKE BATTLE USA (ABC) D
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN (COMEDY) D
OUTCASTS (BBCAMERICA) D
KICKIN IT (DISNEY) D
LEGEND QUEST (SYFY) D
THE PROTECTOR (LIFETIME) D
YOUNG BROKE & BEAUTIFUL (IFC) D-
COMBAT HOSPITAL (ABC)D-
BURIED TREASURE (FOX) D-
IN THE FLOW WITH AFFION CROCKETT (FOX) F
TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN (ABC) F
RIDICULOUSNESS (MTV) F
SAME NAME (CBS) F
WORLD ACCORDING TO PARIS (OXYGEN) F
MILLION DOLLAR DECORATOR (BRAVO) F
FINDING BIGFOOT (ANIMAL PLANET) F

Summer TV Review: Strike Back

Cinemax, aka Skinemax, shows amble boobs and butts - both male and female in this bloody high-concept thriller. I was bored. D+

Summer TV Review: Buried Treasure

What was FOX thinking? This reality show put me to sleep after 5 minutes. D-

Summer TV Review: Ridiculousness

The title says it all about this MTV show that WANTS to be Tosh.0. Unfortunately, ROb Drydek is no Tosh. F

Summer TV Review: Against The Wall

This Lifetime cop show is an inferior THE CHICAGO CODE, and if Code failed on FOX, then you know this one will, too. Nothing new at all with this piece of crap show. C

Summer TV Review: Death Valley

This new MTV comedy (I say that loosely) tries to be like a funny COPS vs. THE WALKING DEAD with a funny bone mixed in the fray. It doesnt work...at all. Otherwise, MTV had a pretty good year with TEEN WOLF and AWKWARD (both already renewed for a second season). D+

Summer TV Review: Friends With Benefits

NBC dropped the ball by airing PERFECT COUPLES last year instead of this likable comedy which is getting the summer burn-off and won't be back. It's about 6 friends (not that original, I know) who navigate through their lives hooking up with one another without strings. It's actually funny and deserved a shot during the regular season. B+

Summer TV Review: Karaoke Battle USA

DOes anyone really care about finding the next karaoke star? Sorry, but this show tanks - especially in the shadow of the spectucular THE VOICE. D

Summer TV Review: The Lying Game

This new ABCFamily show is full of cliches about a good twin and bad twin who switch places. Blech! C+

Summer TV Review: In The FLow With Affion Crockett

This FOX sketch show WANTS to be like In Living Color but doesnt retain even an ounce of that ground-breaking show's genius. I didnt laugh once. F

Summer TV Review: Take The Money and Run

ABC dropped the ball with this one. I saw it last month and should have written my review at the time because its already so forgettable. But what I do remember is a very bad interrogation scene where one of the guys who hid 1 million dollars caves under pressure because he's....scared? Um, its just a tv show. So fake. In fact, I grade it an F for Fake. F

Sunday, July 31, 2011

SUMMER TV ROUND-UP

TORCHWOOD (STARZ) A
THE GLEE PROJECT (OXYGEN) A-
ALPHAS (SYFY) A-
COME FLY WITH ME (BBCAMERICA) A-
LOVE IN THE WILD (NBC) A-
HAPPILY DIVORCED (TVLAND) B+
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS (NBC) B+
NTSF: SD: SUV (CARTOON) B
ROSEANNE'S NUTS (LIFETIME) B
LOVE BITES (NBC) B
TEEN WOLF (MTV) B-
PLATINUM HIT (Bravo) B-
EXPEDITION IMPOSSIBLE (ABC) B-
NY INK (TLC) B-
FALLING SKIES (TNT) C+
AWKWARD (MTV) C+
FRANKLIN & BASH (TNT) C+
101 WAYS TO LEAVE A GAME SHOW (ABC) C+
THE LYING GAME (ABC FAMILY) C+
SWITCHED AT BIRTH (ABC FAMILY) C
AGAINST THE WALL (LIFETIME) C
ROCCOS DINNER PARTY (BRAVO) C
STATE OF GEORGIA (ABCFAMILY) C-
NINE LIVES OF CHLOE KING (ABC FAMILY) C-
NECESSARY ROUGHNESS (USA) C-
SUITS (USA) C-
FAMOUS FOOD (VH1) C-
DEATH VALLEY (MTV) D+
STRIKE BACK (CINEMAX) D+
SINGLE LADIES (VH1) D+
EXTREME MAKEOVER: WEIGHT LOSS (ABC) D+
COMMERCIAL KINGS (IFC) D+
IT'S WORTH WHAT? (NBC) D+
WILFRED (FX) D
KARAOKE BATTLE USA (ABC) D
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN (COMEDY) D
OUTCASTS (BBCAMERICA) D
KICKIN IT (DISNEY) D
LEGEND QUEST (SYFY) D
THE PROTECTOR (LIFETIME) D
YOUNG BROKE & BEAUTIFUL (IFC) D-
COMBAT HOSPITAL (ABC)D-
BURIED TREASURE (FOX) D-
IN THE FLOW WITH AFFION CROCKETT (FOX) F
TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN (ABC) F
RIDICULOUSNESS (MTV) F
SAME NAME (CBS) F
WORLD ACCORDING TO PARIS (OXYGEN) F
MILLION DOLLAR DECORATOR (BRAVO) F
FINDING BIGFOOT (ANIMAL PLANET) F

Summer TV Review: Torchwood

Captain Jack is back, only this time the Torchwood team has moved from the BBC over to this side of the pond, via Starz. Based on the pilot, the new Torchwood zipped along and was might intertaining as it introduced the season-long arc of what would happen if no one died, known as Miracle Day. Unfortunately, by episode 3, Torchwood was nearly unwatchable. But since I rate shows based on pilots only, I had to give Torchwood the A that the pilot deserved. A

Summer TV Review: Its Worth What?

This new Cedric the Entertainer game show is grating on the nerves, especially when the last word of the show's title is drawn out as "Wuuuuut?" As for the format, its about as exciting as watching an hour's worth of Price is Right where the only game is price-guessing which item costs more. D+

Summer TV Review: Same Name

This new CBS show is like Wife Swap, where a famous celeb, such as David Hasslehoff (um, i use the word 'famous' very loosely here) switches place with their same-name person. Soooo fake, and soooo not on my DVR any more. F

Summer TV Review: Legend Quest

Much like "Ghost Hunters", this new SyFy 'reality' show wants to 'prove' that certain Legends really do exist...and much like "Ghost Hunters", the word FAKE comes to mind. D

Summer TV Review: NTSF: SD: SUV

A spoof of CSI shows, much like Childrens Hospital was a spoof of ER and medical shows. This is fast-paced, and quite funny. Check it out on Cartoon Networks Adult Swim. B

Summer TV Review: Roseanne's Nuts

This new Lifetime reality show reintroduces Roseanne Barr in reality format as she jokes around her Hawaiian macadamia nut farm, hence the 'nuts'. But its the Star-Spangled Banner episode that solidified this as an interesting show, to me. For once I understood the bum rap that Rosie got for mangling our country's theme song. B

Summer TV Review: Awkward

MTV's latest scripted show is a high school comedy about a so-so popular girl who gets very noticed after a mishap gets mistaken has a suicide attempt. Lot of potential, and future episodes built on the original premise, but i found the pilot to be a bit bland. C+

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Summer TV Review: Alphas

Though not as tonally fun as Eureka and Warehouse 13, the 90-minute pilot of ALPHAS on SyFy was a solid debut for a show about a group of people with heightened abilities, such as super strength and mind control. At times it reminded me of HEROES season 1, so I hope the show can continue its strong opening promise. A-

Monday, July 11, 2011

Summer TV Review: Famous Food

VH1 has a new reality show that's a train wreck of 'celebs' who are train wrecks themselves. When the person I most want to win is former escort Ashley Dupree, that speaks volumes of the other 'famous' people, such as Bachelor #14 Jake, Real Housewife Danielle Staub, Big Pussy from the Sopranos, media whore Heidi Montag and the guys from Three 6 Mafia. Move on. C=

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Summer TV Review: Necessary Roughness

USA's latest summer series is a departure from crime and lawyer prodecurals. That's the good news. The bad news is that NECESSARY isnt compelling television. The show essentially drags, even though star Callie Thorne does a good job conveying her job as a therapist to a high-profile professional football player for the fictional New York Hawks. I admire that the show isnt your typical USA show, but I just wish it could have been entertaining. Future episodes will explore other clients, with the Hawks player the central ongoing client, keeping the football front and center throughout the show. From the pilot, this is a mixed blessing since its also such a snooze to watch, as well as the dance Callie plays with the coach of the team that she can no longer be intimate with so long as Mehcad is her client. C-

Fall TV Preview: Night By Night

NIGHT BY NIGHT

MONDAYS:
8:00 HOUR: ABC will once again be the network to catch on Monday nights with DANCING WITH THE STARS PERFORMANCE SHOW, though NBC and FOX are certainly going to give the veteran reality show a run for it’s money. Somewhat surprisingly, NBC is offering its own 2-hour reality show, the lukewarm THE SING-OFF, which looks to me like just a holding dock until midseason then THE VOICE takes over this same slot. I don’t see THE SING OFF doing much damage, so if it can attain better ratings than what CHUCK and THE EVENT had been doing, I see this still as a win-win for NBC for the night. CBS returns the again HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER for a 7th season, followed by upstart 2 BROKE GIRLS, which scored the highest testing scores (for comedy OR drama) in CBS’s history. Look for modest results for CBS here. And with CW returning GOSSIP GIRL to its original timeslot at 8, and a long-in-the-tooth fifth season, DANCING’s only real competition will come from the highly-anticipated FOX-Spielberg collaboration TERRA NOVA. No doubt, TERRA will debut strong, but these shows tend to cool quickly. So unless the genre show is out and out spectacular, look for ABC to once again dominate here.
First Place: Dancing With The Stars (ABC)
Second Place: How I Met Your Mother/2 Broke Girls (CBS)
Third Place: Terra Nova (FOX)
Fourth Place: The Sing-Off (NBC)
Fifth Place: Gossip Girl (CW)
9:00 HOUR: DANCING continues along with SING OFF for this hour. A revamped TWO AND A HALF MEN with Ashton Kutcher will also start out very strong. But once curiosity has waned, will Kutcher have the goods to keep MEN a smash? Only time will tell. CBS smartly keeps MIKE & MOLLY at 9:30. M&M is still young and has yet to prove its chops by working solo (witness the so-so ratings this past spring). Ratings for CBS will definitely diminish in the hour compared to years past. Over at FOX, it’s the rumored 8th and final season of HOUSE, which could score some decent ratings with the publicity of it being the final year. The CW tries out a new show starring another doctor, this one the young and beautiful Rachel Bilson. I don’t have high hopes for its success, though.
First Place: Dancing With The Stars (ABC)
Second Place: Two and a Half Men/Mike & Molly (CBS)
Third Place: House (FOX)
Fourth Place: The Sing-Off (NBC)
Fifth Place: Hart of Dixie (CW)
10:00 HOUR: Even though THE PLAYBOY CLUB has the word ‘Playboy’ in the title, don’t expect this new drama to be a power player, especially with the weak SING-OFF as a lead-in. This prestige drama could flame out dramatically for NBC, though it being NBC, it will gladly take a 2.0. The main battle in the hour will be fourth-year CASTLE on ABC, which has the strength of DANCING to guide it, and second year HAWAII FIVE-0, which never broke out for CBS, but is still a decent enough player.
First Place: Castle (ABC)
Second Place: Hawaii Five-0 (CBS)
Third Place: The Playboy Club (NBC)
SHOWS I WILL BE WATCHING: How I Met Your Mother, 2 Broke Girls (NEW), Two and a Half Men, Mike & Molly, The Playboy Club (NEW) and Terra Nova (NEW)
TOTAL HOURS: 4

TUESDAYS:
8:00 HOUR: Until the public absolutely tires of the CBS crime procedural assembly line of cookie cutter shows molded to show death and mayhem, its hard to predict anything will overthrow daddy NCIS on CBS in the kick-off hour, at least in term of overall viewers. As for 18 to 49, GLEE on FOX was the break out last year, but that’s also a very fickle demo, and who knows how much GLEE will slip in its junior year. I certainly think the high school musical has peaked, both creatively and with viewers. NBC has more of THE BIGGEST LOSER, which I think should take a break to build interest, and CW moves 90210 into the hour, hardly a power play. The only new programming comes with ABCs comedy block of LAST MAN STANDING starring Tim Allen and MAN UP, which looks to be an early cancel. I also don’t know how I feel about Tim’s new show. I know he had one of the biggest hits of the 90s with HOME IMPROVEMENT, but will audiences still care enough to see him in a traditional sitcom? Overall, this isn’t a very exciting hour.
First Place: NCIS (CBS)
Second Place: Glee (FOX)
Third Place: The Biggest Loser (NBC)
Fourth Place: Last Man Standing/Man Up (ABC)
Fifth Place: 90210 (CW)
9:00 HOUR: DANCING RESULTS SHOW on ABC has the, um, leg up here, though don’t count out NCIS: LA making some solid traction. NBC should still have solid numbers, for NBC standards at least, for the second half of LOSER, though its aging much quicker than DANCING. FOX breaks out a new comedy THE NEW GIRL followed by the second season of RAISING HOPE, which started strong in its freshman year, then faded during the second half of the season. CW has the promising RINGER with Sarah Michelle Gellar, but its also one of those complication serialized shows that, if viewers arent hooked early on, will only show audience erosion as the season progresses.
First Place: DANCING RESULTS (ABC)
Second Place: NCIS: LA (CBS)
Third Place: BIGGEST LOSER (NBC)
Fourth Place: NEW GIRL/RAISING HOPE (FOX)
Fifth Place: RINGER (CW)
10:00 HOUR: Fortunately for CBS, there isn’t much competition to derail its new procedural, UNFORGETTABLE, starring Piper Montgomery. And coming off the NCIS combo, this is on brand for the network as it replaces the weak GOOD WIFE. NBC has had some highs and lows with third year PARENTHOOD, and looks to continue to do so-so numbers. The wild card is the horrible, but modestly rated, BODY OF PROOF, which will probably win the hour due to DANCING, though its going to be a tight race. I’ll still go with UNFORGETTABLE winning though.
FIRST PLACE: UNFORGETTABLE (CBS)
SECOND PLACE: BODY OF PROOF (ABC)
THIRD PLACE: PARENTHOOD (NBC)
SHOWS I WILL BE WATCHING: 90210, RINGER, GLEE, NEW GIRL, RAISING HOPE, LAST MAN STANDING, MAN UP and PARENTHOOD
TOTAL HOURS: 6

WEDNESDAYS
8:00 HOUR: The only option in the kick-off hour is reality on three networks and comedies on the other two. No doubt, FOX’s X FACTOR will come on strong with the curiosity factor of Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul. But coming off a summer of AMERICAS GOT TALENT, and a resurgent AMERICAN IDOL and the new hit addition of THE VOICE, not to mention THE SING OFF on Monday nights, will audiences be tired of all this vocal adrenaline? I don’t think FACTOR will nearly be the hit that IDOL is, but will still be huge. CBS’s SURVIVOR is still a reliable performer, and will probably take second place. The other reality option, H8R on CW, isn’t even in the running and will be a very weak fifth place. The comedy alternatives are THE MIDDLE and SUBURGATORY on ABC. Entering its third year, THE MIDDLE has never broken out the way MODERN FAMILY has, and there’s no reason it will next season up against X FACTOR. This could spell disaster for SUBURGATORY if it doesn’t click with viewers, though it should still improve upon BETTER WITH YOU. Challenging ABC’s comedy block is NBC’s very own new comedy block of UP ALL NIGHT from Lorne Michaels and FREE AGENTS with Hank Azaria. Neither jumps out as a hit to me, and will most likely get lost out of the gates.
First Place: THE X FACTOR (FOX)
Second Place: SURVIVOR (CBS)
Third Place: THE MIDDLE/SUBURGATORY (ABC)
Fourth Place: UP ALL NIGHT/FREE AGENTS (NBC)
Fifth Place: H8R (CW)
9:00 HOUR: FOX continues with the final 30 minutes of FACTOR, followed by the promising newcomer I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER. CRIMINAL MINDS on CBS will probably see its numbers dwindle up against the smash MODERN FAMILY on ABC, though the verdict is still out on how good HAPPY ENDING will do following it. I happen to love HAPPY, and hope it finds its audience following a spring tryout where the comedy had to fight for viewers from the 10 to 11 hour. NBC offers up the older skewing HARRYS LAW, which sounds like a mistake in this hour, and CW has the fading AMERICAS NEXT TOP MODEL.
First Place: X FACTOR/I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER (Fox)
Second Place: MODERN FAMILY/HAPPY ENDINGS (ABC)
Third Place: CRIMINAL MINDS (CBS)
Fourth Place: HARRYS LAW (NBC)
Fifth Place: AMERICAS NEXT TOP MODEL (CW)
10:00 HOUR: This should be an interesting hour, as we find out just how far CSI has fallen in the hearts of viewers. CBS moves it to this new night, and it will challenge the long-in-the-tooth final LAW AND ORDER franchise on NBC, SVU. Both shows have seen their better days, so its just borrowed time for both as they go up against the new soapy show REVENGE on ABC. ABC has had very little luck in this hour over the years, and I don’t see REVENGE bucking that trend. Look for an early cancellation for REVENGE.
First Place: CSI (CBS)
Second Place: LAW AND ORDER: SVU (NBC)
Third Place: REVENGE (ABC)
SHOWS I WILL BE WATCHING: X FACTOR, I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER, SURVIVOR: SOUTH PACIFIC, THE MIDDLE, SUBURGATORY, MODERN FAMILY, HAPPY ENDINGS, REVENGE, UP ALL NIGHT and FREE AGENTS
HOURS: 6

THURSDAYS:
8:00 HOUR: Mirroring the IDOL template, THE X FACTOR RESULTS SHOW should win the hour, witch CBS continuing to pack in eyeballs with their BIG BANG THEORY and newcomer HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN. The wild card in the hour is the highly anticipated CHARLIES ANGELS on ABC, which could finally give ABC some needed juice in an hour that’s been proven to be quite challenging these last couple of years. NBC has their cult faves COMMUNITY and PARKS & RECREATION, which should score the same numbers they’ve done in the past in their respective slots. THE VAMPIRE DIARIES on CW isn’t much of a player anymore, though still has its ardent fan base, too. This is going to be a brutal hour, for sure, and is shaping up to be the most exciting hour, in my opinion.
First Place: X FACTOR RESULTS (Fox)
Second Place: BIG BANG THEORY/ HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN (CBS)
Third Place: CHARLIE’S ANGELS (ABC)
Fourth Place: COMMUNITY/ PARKS & REC (NBC)
Fifth Place: VAMPIRE DIARIES (CW)
9:00 HOUR: Now that Steve Carell is gone from THE OFFICE, how far will it slide? Being paired with the new WHITNEY doesn’t seem to help it’s chances much. Then again, CSI is now gone and has been replaced with the risky entry PERSON OF INTEREST on CBS, all while GREYS ANATOMY continues to age on ABC. Speaking of age, there’s also BONES on FOX, and another newbie, THE SECRET CIRCLE on CW. If ANGELS is a hit, then look for GREYS to get a boost, but overall I don’t think any one network is going to be balls-out a success here. Instead, look for a very tight race between all shows… this is also one hour in particular that I am curious to see where the pieces fall. Its really anyone’s game for a myriad of reasons.
First Place: GREYS ANATOMY (ABC)
Second Place: PERSON OF INTEREST (CBS)
Third Place: BONES (FOX)
Fourth Place: THE OFFICE/WHITNEY (NBC)
Fifth Place: THE SECRET CIRCLE (CW)
10:00 HOUR: THE MENTALIST on CBS doesn’t have much competition here. It will be a split decision between PRIME SUSPECT on NBC, which has the challenge of offering something new to the table with Maria Bello (can she really replace Helen Mirren in the iconic role?). Then there is the aging PRIVATE PRACTICE on ABC, which never has been a strong competitor in four years of existence.
First Place: THE MENTALIST (CBS)
Second Place: PRIVATE PRACTICE (ABC)
Third Place: PRIME SUSPECT (NBC)
SHOWS I WILL BE WATCHING: THE BIG BANG THEORY, HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN, THE X FACTOR, CHARLIES ANGELS, COMMUNITY, PARKS & REC, THE OFFICE, WHITNEY, THE SECRET CIRCLE, PERSON OF INTEREST
HOURS: 7

FRIDAYS
8:00 HOUR: CHUCK finishes out its run on NBC with 13 episodes on this new night. It’s main competition will come in the form of the new CBS drama A GIFTED MAN. From there its anyone’s game as ABC relocates the fading EXTREME MAKEOVER HOME EDITION and CW relocates NIKITA. FOX goes for more of KITCHEN NIGHTMARES.
First Place: CHUCK (NBC)
Second Place: KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (FOX)
Third Place: EXTREME MAKEOVER (ABC)
Fourth Place: A GIFTED MAN (CBS)
Fifth Place: NIKITA (CW)
9:00 HOUR: It’s looking grim for NBCs GRIMM in this hour as the new thriller goes up against established genre shows FRINGE on FOX and SUPERNATURAL on CW. That leaves CSI NY on CBS and SHARK TANK on ABC. There’s no real reason why CSI won’t again win the hour in total viewers, leaving other eyeballs to check out the other shows, all of which I will be watching.
First Place: CSI NY (CBS)
Second Place: FRINGE (FOX)
Third Place: SHARK TANK (ABC)
Fourth Place: GRIMM (NBC)
Fifth Place: SUPERNATURAL (CW)
10:00 HOUR: CBS will dominate once again with sophomore effort BLUE BLOODS. That leaves newsmags DATELINE and 20/20 to duke it out on NBC and ABC.
First Place: BLUE BLOODS (CBS)
Second Place: 20/20 (ABC) will edge out the similar:
Third Place DATELINE (NBC)
SHOWS I WILL BE WATCHING: CHUCK, GRIMM, FRINGE, SHARK TANK and SUPERNATURAL
Hours: 5

SUNDAYS
8:00 HOUR: For obvious reasons, NBC is going to win this night due to the presence of SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL - assuming there’s even going to BE football in the fall. At this point, we have to assume there will be and rank the night accordingly. For non-sports fans, the shows in this hour vying for attention are animation domination on FOX with THE SIMPSONS and the new ALLEN GREGORY. Look for a solid 18 to 49 demo win here. ABC has a new show, too, ONCE UPON A TIME, which is will probably flame out spectacularly if it isn’t, well, spectacular. That leaves THE AMAZING RACE on CBS…and never count out THE RACE.
First Place: SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (NBC)
Second Place: THE AMAZING RACE (CBS)
Third Place: THE SIMPSONS/ALLEN GREGORY (FOX)
Fourth Place: ONCE UPON A TIME (ABC)
9:00 HOUR: It’s a battle for second place with the fading DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES on ABC and the relocated THE GOOD WIFE on CBS. This will be a key battle come fall. FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD air on FOX.
First Place: SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (NBC)
Second Place: DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (ABC)
Third Place: THE GOOD WIFE (CBS)
Fourth Place: FAMILY GUY/AMERICAN DAD (FOX)
10:00 HOUR: There’s high hopes that the new PAN AM will be glorious for ABC, and I’m certainly rooting for it. But it will have some stiff (hehe) competition from CSI MIAMI on CBS.
First Place: SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (NBC)
Second Place: CSI MIAMI (CBS)
Third Place: PAN AM (ABC)
SHOWS I WILL BE WATCHING: ONCE UPON A TIME, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, PAN AM, ALLEN GREGORY
HOURS: 3.5

Fall TV Preview: The CW

THE CW
MONDAYS: GOSSIP GIRL returns to the hour that it started, 8 pm. It leads into the new HART OF DIXIE starring Rachel Bilson and created by the same GOSSIP GIRL producers.
WHAT I WILL WATCH: Nothing
HOURS: 0
GRADE: B-

TUESDAYS: I became a fan of 90210 in its third season, but for its fourth year, the show moves to Tuesdays and leads into Sarah Michelle Gellar’s promising CBS cast-off RINGER
WHAT I WILL WATCH: 90210 and RINGER
HOURS: 2.00
GRADE: A-

WEDNESDAYS: Reality show H8R leads into an all-star edition of AMERICAS NEXT TOP MODEL.
WHAT I WILL WATCH: Nothing
HOURS: 0
GRADE: C-

THURSDAYS: THE VAMPIRE DIARIES leads into Kevin Williamson’s new THE SECRET CIRCLE with Britt Robertston. This is a great pairing and has good flow from hour to hour.
WHAT I WILL WATCH: SECRET CIRCLE
HOURS: 1.00
GRADE: A-

FRIDAYS: NIKITA moves to a new night, followed by SUPERNATURAL at 9.
WHAT I WILL WATCH: SUPERNATURAL
HOURS: 1.00
GRADE: C+

OVERALL CW FALL SCORE: B-

TOP CW NEW FALL SHOWS:
Secret Circle
Ringer
Hart of Dixie
H8R

Fall TV Preview: CBS

CBS
MONDAYS: Comedy reigns supreme again, with HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER leading into the new 2 BROKE GIRLS. A revamped TWO AND A HALF MEN with Ashton Kutcher anchors the night with returning MIKE & MOLLY following. HAWAII FIVE-0 sticks around for stability at 10.
What I Will Watch: HIMYM, 2 BROKE GIRLS, 2.5 MEN and MIKE & MOLLY
HOURS: 2.00
GRADE: A-

TUESDAYS: Two hours of NCIS and NCIS: LA stay where they are, with the new UNFORGETTABLE at 10 pm.
What I Will Watch: Nothing
HOURS: 0
GRADE: C+

WEDNESDAYS: SURVIVOR: SOUTH PACIFIC kicks off the night with another Redemption Island in the mix. Then its CRIMINAL MINDS at 9 followed by a relocated CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION.
What I Will Watch: SURVIVOR
HOURS: 1.00
GRADE: C+

THURSDAYS: THE BIG BANG THEORY leads off the night followed by HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN. Then it’s the new PERSON OF INTEREST getting the plum 9 pm slot, followed by THE MENTALIST
What I Will Watch: BIG BANG, HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN, PERSON OF INTEREST
HOURS: 2.00
GRADE: A-

FRIDAYS: A GIFTED MAN is new at 8, followed by CSI: NY and then BLUE BLOODS.
What I Will Watch: Nothing
HOURS: 0
GRADE: B+ (It’s great to see CBS continuing to program scripted shows on Fridays)

SATURDAYS: Kudos to CBS for scheduling a scripted show on this night, even though its just one: RULES OF ENGAGEMENT at 8 pm. Still, I give the network credit for doing so. Personally, though, if any of the other comedies tank, RULES will be quickly yanked from this spot and plugged in to fill that hole.
What I Will Watch: RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
HOURS: 0.5
GRADE: B (for the sole reason that the net did what no other network has done in years: programmed something other than reality on the night)

SUNDAYS: Mostly the same: 60 MINUTES, THE AMAZING RACE, then a relocated THE GOOD WIFE, followed by CSI: MIAMI
What I Will Watch: Nothing
HOURS: 0
GRADE: C

OVERALL FALL CBS GRADE: B

TOP RANKING FALL CBS NEW SHOWS:
2 Broke Girls
How To Be A Gentleman
Person of Interest
A Gifted Man
Unforgettable

Fall TV Preview: ABC

ABC
MONDAY: Nothing to get excited about here. It’s business as usual with DANCING WITH THE STARS performance show followed by the fourth season of CASTLE.
What I Will Watch: Nothing
Hours: 0
GRADE: C-

TUESDAYS: Two new comedies will start out the night, both manly shows: LAST MAN STANDING and MAN UP. Then its on to the results show of DANCING followed by second year drama BODY OF PROOF.
What I Will Watch: LAST MAN STANDING and MAN UP
Hours: 1.00
GRADE: C+

WEDNESDAYS: A revamped comedy line-up starts out with THE MIDDLE followed by the promising SUBURGATORY. MODERN FAMILY anchors the 9 pm hour followed by the really funny HAPPY ENDINGS. Rounding out the night is REVENGE.
What I Will Watch: THE MIDDLE, SUBURGATORY, MODERN FAMILY, HAPPY ENDINGS, REVENGE
HOURS: 3.00
GRADE: A+

THURSDAYS: The much-anticipated CHARLIES ANGELS reboot kicks off the night, followed by GREYS ANATOMY and then PRIVATE PRACTICE.
What I Will Watch: CHARLIES ANGELS
HOURS: 1.00
GRADE: B

FRIDAYS: EXTREME MAKEOVER moves from Sundays to kick off Fridays, leading in to SHARK TANK, followed by newsmag 20/20.
What I Will Watch: SHARK TANK
HOURS: 1.00
GRADE: C

SUNDAYS: ABC goes all-out drama in the most aggressive new Sunday lineup since Desperate Housewives first premiered. Its AMERICAS FUNNIEST VIDEOS first, then ONCE UPON A TIME, then the HOUSEWIVES, and then soap PAN AM
What I Will Watch: ONCE UPON A TIME, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES and PAN AM
HOURS: 3.00
GRADE: A

MID SEASON: THE RIVER, MISSING, GOOD CHRISTIAN BELLES, SCANDAL, APARTMENT 23, WORK IT, and COUGAR TOWN

OVERALL FALL GRADE: B

TOP NEW SHOW RANKINGS:
Charlies Angels
Good Christian Belles
Once Upon A Time
The River
Pan Am
Work It
Revenge
Suburgatory
Apartment 23
Last Man Standing
Man Up
Scandal

Fall TV Preview: FOX

FOX

MONDAYS: The most highly anticipated new show of the fall, TERRA NOVA, kicks off Monday nights at 8, followed by what is expected to be the final season of HOUSE at 9.
What I Will Watch: TERRA NOVA. How can you beat the combo of Steven Spielberg and dinosaurs???
Hours: 1.00
GRADE: A

TUESDAYS: GLEE returns for season three, followed by another comedy block similar to last year, this time being the new NEW GIRL followed by returnee RAISING HOPE.
What I Will Watch: GLEE, NEW GIRL and RAISING HOPE. I’ll admit that I am growing bored with GLEE, so this will be an interesting year for me to see if my interest continues with it. As for NEW GIRL, looks good with Zooey Deschanel, and I am still a fan of baby HOPE.
HOURS: 2.00
GRADE: B+

WEDNESDAYS: Look out, Idol, its Simon Cowell’s long-anticipated X FACTOR performance show for the first 90 minutes, followed by new comedy I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER.
What I Will Watch: X FACTOR and I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER. After IDOL annoyed me to tears with its unfair voting system (I feel it should only be one vote allowed per caller and one per IP address), which ousted Pia Toscano and James Durbin in favor of snoooooze Lauren Alaina and Scotty McCreery. So my interest in this IDOL will be replaced with nasty Simon’s biting and honest remarks. Good to see Paula Abdul back, too.
HOURS: 2.00
GRADE: A

THURSDAYS: X FACTOR results show leads into the veteran show BONES.
What I Will Watch: Gotta see the results show, but I don’t have to stick around for Bones.
HOURS: 1.00
GRADE: C+

FRIDAYS: KITCHEN NIGHTMARES leads into the fourth and presumably final season of FRINGE.
What I Will Watch: FRINGE
HOURS: 1.00
GRADE: C+

SUNDAYS: SIMPSONS, then new show ALLEN GREGORY, followed by FAMILY GUY make for a night of continued Animation Domination.
What I Will Watch: ALLEN GREGORY
HOURS: 0.5
GRADE: B-

MIDSEASON: ALCATRAZ, THE FINDER, NAPOLEON DYNAMITE and TOUCH, along with a couple more unannounced comedies.

OVERALL FALL GRADE: B

FALL TV PREVIEW: NBC

NBC

MONDAYS: The biggest change on Mondays is that, for the first time in five years, CHUCK is no longer occupying the 8 pm hour. Instead, NBC has called up THE SING-OFF to use up the first two hours of the night, followed by the new drama THE PLAYBOY CLUB. In mid-season, THE VOICE will take over the first two hours, which is actually a smart move - assuming THE SING-OFF doesn’t tank or get lost amid the arrival THE X FACTOR. If SING-OFF fails, there won’t be a strong lead-in to THE PLAYBOY CLUB.
What I Will Watch: I wasn’t a fan of THE SING OFF, so I will be passing on it, but THE PLAYBOY CLUB is one of the shows I am most looking forward to in the fall, so you bet I will be there to watch sexy Eddie Cibrian and the bunnies.
HOURS of NBC I will watch: 1.00 (PLAYBOY CLUB)
GRADE: B- (I am excited to see NBC try something new for the night, though 2 hours of reality probably wont do the trick.)

TUESDAYS: Nothing new on this night. THE BIGGEST LOSER from 8 to 10, followed by the third season of PARENTHOOD.
What I Will Watch: I don’t like LOSER, but I do tend to catch up on PARENTOOD over the summer, which I did last summer and I will do again this summer. That said, PARENTHOOD is not on the top of my priority list.
HOURS of NBC I Will watch: 1.00 (PARENTHOOD)
GRADE: C- (Even though this is a proven night for LOSER, I was hoping NBC would have held off on it. I think it’s ratings have slipped, and will only continue to do so in the fall. It’s hard to get excited about this night, at least for me.)

WEDNESDAYS: For the first time in YEARS, NBC is adding another night of comedies outside of Thursdays. Kicking off the night are newcomers UP ALL NIGHT starring Christina Applegate and Will Arnett and FREE AGENTS starring Hank Azaria. HARRYS LAW moves from Monday nights to the 9 pm hour, followed by long-running LAW & ORDER SVU.
What I Will Watch: UP ALL NIGHT and FREE AGENTS. Of course, for how long depends on their quality. I am not a huge fan of Arnett or Azaria, so it might be hard on me to stick with them.
HOURS: 1.00 (Up All Night and Free Agents)
GRADE: C+ (Launching two new comedies is a risk in the hour, but what drags the night down are the low-rated Harry’s Law and the long-in-tooth SVU. There isn’t a synergistic flow from hour to hour. It feels like something for everyone…or no one.)

THURSDAYS: It’s comedy as usual for the first two hours, with COMMUNITY kicking things off, PARKS N REC returning to its original timeslot, THE OFFICE back in its usual slot, and multi-camera newcomer WHITNEY taking over the old OUTSOURCED slot. 30 ROCK won’t be back til midseason to accommodate Tina Fey’s pregnancy. Maria Bello’s PRIME SUSPECT scores the plum 10 pm slot.
What I Will Watch: COMMUNITY, PARKS, THE OFFICE, WHITNEY
HOURS: 2.00
GRADE: A- (This is a return to Must See TV, with the first 3 shows all highly acclaimed. Let’s hope WHITNEY is of the same caliber. And PRIME SUSPECT is a return to solid drama in the 10 pm hour)

FRIDAYS: CHUCK moves to Friday, something I thought would happen to the low-rated spy show for the last couple of years. This leads into the new fairy-tale drama GRIMM, followed by DATELINE.
What I Will Watch: CHUCK is one of my top ten favorite shows, so I will be there to support it in it’s final season of 13 episodes. I am also looking forward to seeing what the genre show GRIMM is all about.
HOURS: 2.00
GRADE: A- (NBC hasn’t aggressively aired scripted shows on this night for years, so it’s great to see them do so. Let’s hope the other nets do as well.)

SUNDAYS: FOOTBALL
What I Will Watch: Not NBC
GRADE: A (Even though I don’t like football, it’s still a great platform to keep NBC in the ratings gold area, and to launch the rest of their sked)

MID-SEASON: SMASH, AWAKE, BENT, BEST FRIENDS FOREVER and ARE YOU THERE VODKA ITS ME CHELSEA are the newcomers, with SMASH and VODKA two of the network’s shows I am most looking forward to. With THE VOICE, CELEBRITY APPRENTICE and 30 ROCK all returning mid-season, I am more excited about the winter than I am the fall for NBC.

OVERALL FALL GRADE: B

NBC RANKINGS, based on preview clips
1. SMASH (A+)
2. THE PLAYBOY CLUB (A)
3. ARE YOU THERE VODKA, ITS ME CHELSEA (A-)
4. GRIMM (A-)
5. WHITNEY (B)
6. AWAKE (B)
7. BENT (B-)
8. UP ALL NIGHT (B-)
9. FREE AGENTS (B-)
10. BEST FRIENDS FOREVER (C+)
11. PRIME SUSPECT - C
12. THE FIRM (Preview Not Available)

SUMMER TV ROUND-UP

THE GLEE PROJECT (OXYGEN) A-
ALPHAS (SYFY) A-
COME FLY WITH ME (BBCAMERICA) A-
LOVE IN THE WILD (NBC) A-
HAPPILY DIVORCED (TVLAND) B+
LOVE BITES (NBC) B
TEEN WOLF (MTV) B-
PLATINUM HIT (Bravo) B-
EXPEDITION IMPOSSIBLE (ABC) B-
NY INK (TLC) B-
FALLING SKIES (TNT) C+
FRANKLIN & BASH (TNT) C+
101 WAYS TO LEAVE A GAME SHOW (ABC) C+
SWITCHED AT BIRTH (ABC FAMILY) C
ROCCOS DINNER PARTY (BRAVO) C
STATE OF GEORGIA (ABCFAMILY) C-
NINE LIVES OF CHLOE KING (ABC FAMILY) C-
NECESSARY ROUGHNESS (USA) C-
SUITS (USA) C-
FAMOUS FOOD (VH1) C-
SINGLE LADIES (VH1) D+
EXTREME MAKEOVER: WEIGHT LOSS (ABC) D+
COMMERCIAL KINGS (IFC) D+
WILFRED (FX) D
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN (COMEDY) D
OUTCASTS (BBCAMERICA) D
KICKIN IT (DISNEY) D
THE PROTECTOR (LIFETIME) D
YOUNG BROKE & BEAUTIFUL (IFC) D-
COMBAT HOSPITAL (ABC)D-
WORLD ACCORDING TO PARIS (OXYGEN) F
MILLION DOLLAR DECORATOR (BRAVO) F
FINDING BIGFOOT (ANIMAL PLANET) F

Summer TV Review: State of Georgia

This new ABC Family comedy is on brand for the network for teenage girls, but there isnt really anything fresh or exciting to Raven Symone's new comedy that pits her as an actress trying to make it in New York City, whereupon she has recently moved to from the great state of Georgia, hence the title. Raven is quite good at what she does, but the pilot episode had a miscast talent agent going googoo gaga over Raven's obvious attempt to be a seductress. It's that kind of writing and performing that cause me to tune a show like this out. And I have. C-

Friday, July 1, 2011

Summer TV Review: Rocco's Dinner Party

Bravo continues its run of fake-reality shows, though this one does score points for a competition format and hottie Rocco Spirito moving things along. I'm bored and don't even feel like explaining how it all goes down, but basically three chefs start out, and in the end the top two compete to win a dinner party via taste of food, ambience and select other criteria. C

Summer TV Review: Yound, Broke and Beautiful

Gag me! This travelogue on the IFC is a complete waste as it explores the seedier side of select cities. D-

Summer TV Review: WILFRED

The promising commercials for this FX 'comedy?' had me jonesing for this show with Elijah Wood who, upon trying to commit suicide, starts seeing his neighbors dog as a man in a fluffy costume. Elijah is actually really good, but the guy in the dog suit is so utterly charmless that it renders WILFRED a complete waste of time. This one's a dog. D

Summer TV Review: Suits

This new USA law procedural makes the inane FRANKLIN & BASH look like Emmy material. Sorry, but after F&B and HARRYS LAW, I am getting just a wee bit tired of this kind of show. Its been done before, and so much better. Pass on SUITS. C-

Summer TV Review: Commercial Kings

IFC reality show about two guys that make wacky tv commercials. The only fun part is the payoff at the end when we get the reveal of the commercial. The rest of the show you will need smelling salt to keep you awake. D+

Summer TV Review: Combat Hospital

ABC does it again...YET ANOTHER FUCKING GREYS ANATOMY knock-off in the long tradition of other failed knockoffs such as Defying Gravity (Greys in space), The Deep End (Greys as lawyers), Off The Map (Greys in the wild), Rookie Blue (Greys as cops) and the upcoming Scandal (Greys with politicians). Now comes this realllllly bad Greys in combat clone. D-

Summer TV Review: Expedition Impossible

Similar to THE AMAZING RACE, this ABC knock-off is less frenetic as it follows 13 teams of 3 across the Morroccan terrain. Its a good summer show if you like this sort of thing. But I'd rather be swimming in the pool. B-

Summer TV Review: 101 Ways to Leave A Game Show

ABC's newest game show is an idiotic one. Contestants vie to answers correctly, and when they miss, they get ejected from the show in horrific ways. Are we as a people really turned on by this kind of WIPEOUT idiocy now? Oh, and the host is completely awful. C+

Summer TV Review: Falling Skies

This TNT show from Steven Spielberg was the most highly-anticipated new show of the summer for me, and thus became the most disappointing in execution. It's way too talky and has that post-apocolyptic feel to it that worked better for THE WALKING DEAD. The alien shots are too few and far between, and the filler in the middle was a bore for two hours. I keep waiting for something exciting to happen, and so far that just hasnt happend yet. There's a war going on, and I'm in the dark. C+

Summer TV Review: Love in the Wild

Maybe I shouldnt like this show as much as I do, but I think its a perfect summer reality show. Its basically a mix of Temptation Island, Survivor, The Amazing Race and Bachelor Pad where 20 men and women are thrown together in the wilds in hopes of finding true love (cue Shrek music). A-

Sunday, June 19, 2011

SUMMER 2011 TV ROUND-UP

THE GLEE PROJECT (OXYGEN) A-
COME FLY WITH ME (BBCAMERICA) A-
LOVE IN THE WILD (NBC) A-
HAPPILY DIVORCED (TVLAND) B+
LOVE BITES (NBC) B
TEEN WOLF (MTV) B-
PLATINUM HIT (Bravo) B-
EXPEDITION IMPOSSIBLE (ABC) B-
NY INK (TLC) B-
FALLING SKIES (TNT) C+
FRANKLIN & BASH (TNT) C+
101 WAYS TO LEAVE A GAME SHOW (ABC) C+
SWITCHED AT BIRTH (ABC FAMILY) C
ROCCOS DINNER PARTY (BRAVO) C
NINE LIVES OF CHLOE KING (ABC FAMILY) C-
SUITS (USA) C-
SINGLE LADIES (VH1) D+
EXTREME MAKEOVER: WEIGHT LOSS (ABC) D+
COMMERCIAL KINGS (IFC) D+
WILFRED (FX) D
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN (COMEDY) D
OUTCASTS (BBCAMERICA) D
KICKIN IT (DISNEY) D
THE PROTECTOR (LIFETIME) D
YOUNG BROKE & BEAUTIFUL (IFC) D-
COMBAT HOSPITAL (ABC)D-
WORLD ACCORDING TO PARIS (OXYGEN) F
MILLION DOLLAR DECORATOR (BRAVO) F
FINDING BIGFOOT (ANIMAL PLANET) F

Summer TV Review: Come Fly WIth Me

Fans of LITTLE BRITAIN are in for a treat this summer as BBCAmerica airs the new comedy from the comedy brains behind LB. Its highflying humor! A-

Summer TV Review: Outcasts

I dont know why, but I just cant get into British dramas and sci fi shows. I love British comedy, though...but this new sci-fi attempt now airing on BBCAmerica bored me to tears. It should be noted that Outcasts only lasted one series over there, so the UK audiences didnt much care for this one either. Cheerio! D

Summer TV Review: Happily Divorced

The Voice is back...Fran Drescher stars in this new comedy that is loosely based on her real-life story of marrying a man who divorced her when he came out of the closet. As far as comedies go, it has some growing pains to encounter, but its still a solid comedy, and is especially fun to watch if you miss the Will & Grace gay guy and straight girl banter. B+

Summer TV Review: Nine Lives of Chloe King

Meee-owwwch! If I had nine lives, maybe I would spend one of them watching this uninspired, unevenly acted and poorly written new ABC Family show about a girl who finds out she has feline abilities as she turns 16...but I dont have 9 lives, just this one - as far as I know. And i dont want to waste it on this mess. C-

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Summer TV Review: Kickin It

Disney just premiered their latest Annoying-Kids-Make-Jokes comedy, centered around a kicky new student who wins over the nerds and bullies the bullies via HEEE-YAW karate kicks and chops. The fight scenes are stage well, and elicited some laughs. But the juvie humor didnt resonate with me. D

Summer TV Review: Jon Ben Has A Van

I'm sure I'm not alone in being soooo let down that the cartoon character of Archer is actually voiced by the way less attractive Jon Benjamin. Sure, it was unrealistic to think that the super-hot Archer was super-hot in real life, but still... a little part of the sex-worshipper in me has just wilted. lol. Okay, so on to the review of Jon Bengamin Has A Van on Comedy Central: It's pretty offensive, and the pilot wasnt funny. Worse, it was slooooow. As far as sketch comedies go, this is below average. D

Monday, June 13, 2011

2010-2011 SEASON : TOP 75 SHOWS

TOP 75 TV SHOWS 2010-2011 TV SEASON #3 February 2011



1. True Blood (HBO)

2. Community (NBC)

3. The Big Bang Theory (CBS)

4. The Middle (ABC)

5. Modern Family (ABC)

6. Chuck (NBC)

7. Merlin (SYFY)

8. Desperate Housewives (ABC)

9. How I Met Your Mother (CBS)

10. Game of Thrones (HBO) NEW SHOW!



11. Eureka (SYFY)

12. Futurama (COMEDY)

13. Warehouse 13 (SYFY)

14. Supernatural (CW)

15. 90210 (CW)

16. Shameless (Showtime) NEW SHOW!

17. The Voice (NBC) NEW SHOW!

18. The Walking Dead (AMC) NEW SHOW!

19. Happy Endings (ABC) NEW SHOW!

20. The Killing (AMC) NEW SHOW!



21. Persons Unknown (NBC) NEW SHOW! Cancelled

22. Parks & Recreation (NBC)

23. Warren the Ape (MTV)NEW SHOW! Cancelled

24. Hot in Cleveland (TVLand) NEW SHOW!

25. Survivor (CBS)

26. Project Runway (Lifetime)

27. The Office (NBC)

28. Smallville (CW)

29. Glee (FOX) Cancelled

30. Haven (SYFY) NEW SHOW!



31. Scoundrels (ABC) NEW SHOW! Cancelled

32. Being Human (SYFY) NEW SHOW!

33. Face Off (SYFY) NEW SHOW!

34. Rules of Engagement (CBS)

35. Raising Hope (FOX) NEW SHOW!

36. Cougar Town (ABC)

37. RuPaul's Drag Race (LOGO)

38. Skins (MTV) NEW SHOW! Cancelled

39. America's Got Talent (NBC)

40. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo) NEW SHOW!



41. Two and a Half Men (CBS)

42. Better With You (ABC) NEW SHOW! Cancelled

43. Saturday Night Live (NBC)

44. 30 Rock (NBC)

45. Outsourced (NBC) NEW SHOW! Cancelled

46. Nurse Jackie (Showtime)

47. Mike & Molly (CBS) NEW SHOW!

48. Episodes (Showtime) NEW SHOW!

49. 100 Questions (NBC) NEW SHOW! Cancelled

50. Celebrity Apprentice (NBC)



51. South Park (COMEDY)

52. Ugly Americans (COMEDY)

53. BLEEP My Dad Says (CBS) NEW SHOW! Cancelled

54. No Ordinary Family (ABC) NEW SHOW! Cancelled

55. Parenthood (NBC)

56. Working Class (CMT) NEW SHOW! Cancelled

57. Spartacus: Blood and Sand (Starz) NEW SHOW!

58. Camelot (Starz) NEW SHOW!

59. American Idol (FOX)

60. Tosh.0 (COMEDY)



61. Children's Hospital (CARTOON)

62. Mad Love (CBS) NEW SHOW! Cancelled

63. Scream Queens (E)

64. Last Comic Standing (NBC) Cancelled

65. Shark Tank (ABC)

66. Friday Night Lights (NBC) Cancelled

67. Rupaul Untucked (LOGO)

68. Archer (FX) NEW SHOW!

69. V (ABC) Cancelled

70. The Marriage Ref (NBC)



71. Work of Art (Bravo) NEW SHOW!

72. Portlandia (IFC) NEW SHOW!

73. So You Think You Can Dance (FOX)

74. Fashion Show (Bravo)

75. Gigolos (SHOWTIME) NEW SHOW!



TOTAL NUMBER NEW SHOWS: 31

TOTAL NUMBER CANCELLED SHOWS: 15

TOTAL NBC: 16

TOTAL ABC: 10

TOTAL CBS SHOWS: 8

TOTAL FOX SHOWS: 4

TOTAL CW SHOWS: 3

Summer TV Review: The Glee Project

This new reality show starts out rooted in fakeness, such as each contestant walking through the door and high-fiving each member before them...as if! But mid-way through things really gel as we start to see the bottom 3 realize that their dreams of winning a 7-episode arc on FOX's GLEE is slipping away. And the final bit of drama, as each of the three makes that walk to the board to see if they're getting a call-back or not hits at the heart of any person who's ever had to go read their fate on a bulletin board. A-

Summer TV Review: The Protector

Lifetime continues its uninspired venture intro scripted programming with a very weak, seen-it-all-before-and-much-better crime procedural. I literally felt my eyes droop after the first ten minutes. Maybe it was unfair for me to tune out after just that first insipid sampling, but damn if I dont have better things to do with my life than watch another crime show. D

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Summer TV Review: Switched at Birth

SWITCHED is a new family drama on ABC Family about two babies switched at birth, one to a rich family and the other to a struggling single mom. Though the two lead actresses as the teenaged versions of the switched babes are entirely believable, the rest of the show tanks in terms of cliche after cliche. The end result reminded me of one of those after school specials, which might be okay for a one-off or a tv movie, but a whole series? Nope. C

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Summer TV Review: Teen Wolf

I never saw the original Michael J Fox movie of the same name, which itself was based on a 50s Michael Landon movie called I Was A Teenage Werewolf. This updated series has a bit of humor, but little bite. The cast is very sexy, so that alone will keep me glued for a few more weeks... though last year's The Gates had lots of hotties, too - and I tuned out of that one after 3 episodes once the writing showed its true boring colors. This being MTV, I have high hopes that future TEEN WOLF episodes will improve upon the pilot, which wasnt toooo bad. B-

Summer TV Review: Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition

ABC rolls yet another Extreme Makeover show, this one a sappy reality show that covers the weight loss of one individual over the course of a single year. Its produced well enough, but I am just not a fan of weight loss shows, and this one lays on the 'drama'. D+

Monday, June 6, 2011

Summer TV Review: Franklin & Bash

Just another TNT legal procedural, though this one has a fun comedic tone to it. Still, its nothing we havent seen before, and in fact, is kinda slow. Not even the sight of Mark-Paul Gosselar's bare buttocks can get me to keep watching it. C+

Summer TV Review: NY INK

This new TLC show works best when it delves into the backstories of the customers and why he or she is getting a particular tattoo. The show works least when it is showing the tattoo artists bickering and fighting, which smells of staged drama. Too bad. Otherwise, a good show. B-

Summer TV Review: Love Bites

NBC is burning off this Love, American-Style like romantic anthology comedy starring Becki Newton of UGLY BETTY. It's actually a sweet show, but it doesnt stand a chance, as anthology shows rarely succeed, not to mention NBC is, again, burning it off. The pilot had some sweet, if not predictable, vignettes. B

Summer TV Review: Million Dollar Decorator

Here comes another Bravo reality show that tries to entertain us with vapid, fake 'people' who's lives I could care nothing about. Why bother with original programming anymore, Bravo? All you do is rehash past successes, such as this show which plays like a really bad Housewives of Miami (which was horrible in itself), and the recent Platinum Hits is just another variation of its Top Chef and Project Runway franchises. F

Summer TV Review: World According to Paris

Does the 'world' really need to see more of Paris Hilton, espcially when the show is as fake as Paris herself? I certainly don't. F

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

SUMMER TV ROUND-UP

THE GLEE PROJECT (OXYGEN) A-
COME FLY WITH ME (BBCAMERICA) A-
HAPPILY DIVORCED (TVLAND) B+
LOVE BITES (NBC) B
TEEN WOLF (MTV) B-
PLATINUM HIT (Bravo) B-
NY INK (TLC) B-
FRANKLIN & BASH (TNT) C+
SWITCHED AT BIRTH (ABC FAMILY) C
NINE LIVES OF CHLOE KING (ABC FAMILY) C-
SINGLE LADIES (VH1) D+
EXTREME MAKEOVER: WEIGHT LOSS (ABC) D+
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN (COMEDY) D
OUTCASTS (BBCAMERICA) D
KICKIN IT (DISNEY) D
THE PROTECTOR (LIFETIME) D
WORLD ACCORDING TO PARIS (OXYGEN) F
MILLION DOLLAR DECORATOR (BRAVO) F
FINDING BIGFOOT (ANIMAL PLANET) F

Summer TV Review: Finding Bigfoot

What an insult! This new reality show oozes a fakiness, the kind found watching popular SyFy shows like Destination Truth and Ghost Hunters. I loathe this kind of show, which insults viewer intelligence with over=acting and a need to present the 'facts' like its the second coming. Enough Already! F

Summer TV Review: Single Ladies

VH1 gets into the scripted game with this soap opera aimed toward a black, urban audience. The only problem is that the acting and writing were more daytime-soapy than primetime. I didnt buy it, though I am also not the target audience: black and female. So as much as I personally didnt care for it, I still hope it succeeds because TV needs more diverse programming. I just hope the next effort is more solid. D+

Summer TV Review: Platinum Hit

Following the format of Project Runway and Top Chef before it, Bravo premiered its new singer-songwriter talent competition to fairly good results. The best part was the final 20 minutes, when the 4 groups of 3 performed their original songs. Its just that the process leading up to the elimination was fairly boring. I also didnt like the fact that hottie Kevin was the first one sent home, but that was purely a 'aw shucks' moment and had nothing to do with the quality of the program. Jewel was nice as a host/judge, but I thought Kara DiGuardi was too stiff. B-

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

UPFRONT buzz: FOX

Next week FOX will unveil its fall sked to advertisers, but today we got a first glimpse to the new and returning shows that will appear on its schedule.

NEW SHOWS:
*ALCATRAZ: Whew! I was worried this one wasnt going to go to series. Its from JJ Abrams, and that alone had me excited. Its a time-travel show, and you saw how LOST was, soo...YAY!
*THE NEW GIRL: Zooey Deschanel in a situation comedy where she moves in with 3 guys. Kinda sounds like a variation on Three's Company. Damon Wayans Jr of HAPPY ENDINGS is also in the cast, and the fate of that ABC comedy will determine whether he can be in the new Fox show.
*TERRA NOVA: I totally cant wait to see this show, which has been over 16 months in the making. Looks AWESOME!
*THE X FACTOR: With THE VOICE a hit, and this new Simon Cowell singing competition, I have all but decided to ditch American Idol. Its time, dont you think?
*I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER: Jamie Presley is back in a new comedy.
*THE FINDER: THe Bones spinoff got a pick-up.

CANNED:
*BREAKING IN, THE CHICAGO CODE, TRAFFIC LIGHTE, LIE TO ME and HUMAN TARGET. I don't watch any of these, so I am pretty happy right now.

ALCATRAZ and LOCKE & KEY were the two shows I wanted FOX to pick up, and I at least got my wish on one of them.

STAY TUNED FOR MORE UPDATES THROUGHOUT THE WEEK.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Fall Upfronts Pilot Preview: ABC

For me, ABC has the best development line-up of the year. I want to see almost all of these shows go to series.

1. CHARLIES ANGELS (Hands down, I am most excited about this ANGELS revamp, something I've wanted to see for three decades now)
2. GOOD CHRISTIAN BITCHES (With Kristen Chenoweth, this could be the new HOUSEWIVES for ABC)
3.THE RIVER (And this could be the new LOST)
4. ONCE UPON A TIME (Fairly tale creatures really do exist. Its supposed to have a unique look, ala Pushing Daisies)
5. PAN AM (Airline espionage from the 60s. Sounds great)
6. POE (An 1800's CSI? Count me excited)
7. HALLELUJAH (From Marc Cherry. Need I say more?)
8. GRACE
9. GEORGETOWN
10. DAMAGE CONTROL
IDENTITY
MISSING
PARTNERS
REVENGE

Fall Upfronts 2011-2012 Preview: NBC

Continuing with the week-before upfronts circus (I can just imagine network execs buzzing around their offices this week as they map out their skeds for next season...oh to be a fly on the wall), here is a ranking of the NBC pilots that I am most jazzed about seeing, based on concept and cast only. NBC has 10 hour-longs to choose from:

1. SMASH (A look inside the staging of a Broadway musical by the talent of Steven Spielberg. This looks totally original and adult, as opposed to the annoying GLEE. My top pick for NBC drama this year goes to SMASH, starring Debra Messing and Kath McPhee)
2. 17th PRECINCT (A stellar cast from Battlestar Galactica's Ron Moore has Jamie Bamber, Tricia Helfer and James Callis, with Stockard Channing, no less! Unfortunately buzz hasnt been good for this supernatural police show, and it is all but dead going into next week. Still, it's my #2 choice)
3. GRIMM (Mystical creatures really DO exist. Sounds fun, and this one has the edge over 17th Precinct; though neither might make it to air. Scary thought!)
4. PLAYBOY (A period drama/soap set in the Chicago Playboy club. Could be a real tease. Looking forward to it.)
5. WONDER WOMAN (Iconic superhero in a summer of big-screen heroes could be the midas touch NBC needs. Has built-in appeal)
6. METRO (Similar in vain to the movie Crash, which I enjoyed.)
7. REM (Think INCEPTION)
8. MANN'S WORLD (Don Johnson is back in a SHAMPOO-like TV drama, with Rupaul's Shangella in the supporting cast. Can I get an amen?)
9. RECONSTRUCTION (Civil War era period drama)
10. PRIME SUSPECT (Maria Bello stars in this update of the Helen Mirren-UK drama)

NBC COMEDY:
1. ARE YOU THERE VODKA, ITS ME CHELSEA (Chelsea Handler. Need I say more? My top NBC comedy pick)
2. BRAVE NEW WORLD
3.I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU
4. ALPHA MOM (From Lorne Michaels)
5. WHITNEY
6. BENT
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER
FAMILY PRACTICE
FREE AGENTS
HELP WANTED
LOVELIVES
MY LIFE AS AN EXPERIMENT

Monday, May 9, 2011

WINTER TV ROUND-UP 2012, final

Here are the rankings of the new shows airing on TV this winter, judged solely on the pilot episodes only. To qualify, I will be reviewing every new show on the Big Five, be it a drama, comedy or reality show. I will also be reviewing all new scripted fare on the cable nets, as well as select reality shows such as FACE OFF on SyFy.

GAME OF THRONES (HBO) A+
THE VOICE (NBC) A
HAPPY ENDINGS (ABC) A
SHAMELESS (SHOWTIME) A-
CAMELOT (STARZ) A-
BEING HUMAN (SYFY) A-
FACE OFF (SYFY) A-
THE KILLING (ANC) A-
SKINS (MTV) A-
MAD LOVE (CBS) B+
MR SUNSHINE (ABC) B+
GIGOLOS (SHOWTIME) B
MARCEL'S QUANTUM KITCHEN (SYFY) B
HARRY'S LAW (NBC) B
THE CAPE (NBC) B
EPISODES (SHOWTIME) B-
RETIRED AT 35 (TVLAND) B-
AFTER LATELY (E!) B-
LIVE TO DANCE (CBS) B-
BREAKING IN (FOX) C+
WORKING CLASS (CMT) C+
PORTLANDIA (IFC) C+
OFF THE MAP (ABC) C+
LIGHTS OUT (FX) C+
REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI (BRAVO) C+
SERIOUSLY FUNNY KIDS (Lifetime) C+
AMERICAS NEXT GREAT RESTAURANT (NBC) C
FAIRLY LEGAL (USA) C
BREAKOUT KINGS (A&E) C
CHAOS (CBS) C
PIER'S MORGAN TONIGHT (CNN) C
CALL ME FITZ (DIRECTV) C-
TRAFFIC LIGHT (FOX) C-
THE CHICAGO CODE (FOX) C-
EBERT PRESENTS AT THE MOVIES (PBS) C-
THE BORGIA'S (SHOWTIME) D+
PERFECT COUPLES (NBC) D+
LET'S STAY TOGETHER (BET) D+
SHEDDING FOR THE WEDDING (CW) D+
THE PAUL REISER SHOW (NBC) D
BODY OF PROOF (ABC) D
WORKAHOLICS (COMEDY) D
BOB'S BURGERS (FOX) D-
JAMES ELLROY'S LA (Invest. Disc.) F
ONION NEWS NETWORK (IFC) F
ONION SPORTSDOME (COMEDY) F
CRIMINAL MINDS: SUSPECT BEHAVIOR (CBS) F

TV UPFRONTS 2011-2012 Sneak Preview

Welp, all the new shows from 2010-11 season have now aired, and we are now just one week away from that magical time in TV land known as the upfronts, where each of the major networks announces their new fall skeds to advertisers.... and fans. Keep checking each day for the latest news on whats new, and whats been axed.

I have quite a few faves that are on the bubble this year, meaning their fates are unknown.

NBC: CHUCK is the most vulnerable, as it is a TOP TEN show of mine. PARENTHOOD and OUTSOURCED are also on the bubble, though if they got canned, I could live without them. ALready renewed: Community, The Office, Parks & Recreation and 30 Rock

ABC: HAPPY ENDINGS, BETTER WITH YOU and V are all on the bubble. Of the three, I hope HAPPY ENDINGS is back. I liked NO ORDINARY FAMILY, but it needs to go. DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES hasnt yet gotten a pick-up, but will. Already renewed are Cougar Town, The MIddle and Modern Family.

FOX: None of my favorite FOX shows are on the bubble. All have been renewed: Glee, Raising Hope, Fringe and American Idol.

THE CW: Both of my favorite CW shows have been renewed: Supernatural and 90210.

CBS: Rules of Engagement is the only CBS show on the bubble that I for sure want back. I dont care so much about Mad Love or SHIT My Dad Says. Other fave CBS shows have already been renewed: How I Met Your Mother, Two and A Half Men, Big Bang Theory and Survivor.

So going into next week, my fingers are crossed for Rules of Engagement (CBS), Chuck, (NBC) and Happy Endings (ABC)

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Spring/Winter Review: The Voice

NBC's answer to AMERICAN IDOL is surprisingly strong, and fun. And just different enough that it might work. Obviously the four coaches are key to the success, and watching Adam Levine, CeeLo Green, xTina, and Blake Shelton beg for singers to join their teams is fun, and it works. I also like the surprise factor facing the coaches as they hit or don't hit their buzzer and turn to see the face of who they are fighting for to join their team. Then knowing that the coaches will cut their team in half by 50% before the America-Votes section should also be interesting as two singers in each team will face off singing the same song for survival. Loving it so far! A

Friday, April 22, 2011

Spring/Winter TV Review: Call Me Fitz

Former 90210-er Jason Priestly plays such an unlikable character in this new DirecTV comedy that its hard to stay invested in it. Basically the show is bad Jason and his good Jason consience, played by some other actor. I'd take the time to IMDB who that actor is, but I really don't care to invest any more time in this show, or it's cast. C-

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Spring/Winter TV Review: Game of Thrones

Not since TRUE BLOOD has HBO delivered such a satisfying new show. GAME is gorgeous, well-acted, and fast-paced. I read the book by George RR Martin in advance so that I wouldnt be lost, and I am glad I did because GAME is an epic series, and knowing what I know makes it all so worth it. Though of course, being as faithful as the show is to the source material, I don't get the surprises that come with watching it on TV as a first exposure. No worries, this is great television. Oh, and today a second season was just ordered. YAY! A+

Spring/Winter TV Review: Camelot

How good is Camelot? Well, let's just say that I ordered Starz Channel so that I wouldnt miss an episode following a preview on the 101 channel. CAMELOT is a darker, more mature, and much more faithful tellling of the King Arthur legend than SyFy's MERLIN. I love MERLIN, and just as that show ended, Starz premiered Camelot. Coincidence, or savvy programming? Joe Fiennes, who I thought was miscast in FlashForward, redeems hiimself as Merlin in this gorgeous new show. A-

Spring/Winter TV review: Happy Endings

Sometimes a show meshes so well together that you forget you're watching a pilot episode. That's what happened with ABCs HAPPY ENDINGS. Its kind of like a clone of FRIENDS, but who cares when the dialogue is this sharp. I hope it finds an audience, since it only has a few weeks to prove itself before ABC announces their new skeds for next season. A

Spring/Winter Review: The Paul Reiser Show

How sad. As a fan of NBC's MAD ABOUT YOU back in the 90s, I was excited to find out that Paul Reiser was returning to the same network in this new 'comedy'. Wow, I think Paul should have left well enough alone because this 'life of Paul Reiser' comedy misses on all levels. It also was the lowest-rate in-season premiere of any comedy in 18-49 in NBC history. Ouch! D

Monday, April 11, 2011

Spring/Winter TV Review: Workaholics

Remember that show TESTEES? Well, it sucked, and so does WORKAHOLICS, the new 'comedy' on Comedy Central that centers around 3 slackers who act like idiots and who, at the end of the day, come off smelling like roses (or is that week-old farts?). I laughed all of 0 seconds during this one. D

Friday, April 8, 2011

Winter/Spring Review: Gigolos

This adult 'reality' show on Showtime has something for everyone: naked guys for the ladies and gays (like me), and the naked women they fuck for the straight guys and lesbians. It's obviously staged (who cares!), but it's also fun to see these male prostitutes primp and fight in Las Vegas, ala the Real Housewives franchise on Bravo...but with adult content. Score! B

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Winter/Spring Review: The Killing

Superb acting and writing undeniably make this show worth investing in, even though the gruesome subject matter weighed on me as I sat down to watch it. In a nutshell, a young girl has been murdered, with the series itself showing the mystery and aftermath through the eyes of the cast during different time periods in the investigation. Michelle Forbes (late of TRUE BLOOD) deserves an Emmy for this performance. A-

Winter/Spring TV Review: Breaking In

Best New Midseason Show on Fox! THough when the other entrants are Traffic Light (C-), Chicago Code (C-) and Bob's Burgers (D-), that isnt saying much. I think Breaking In, which centers around a high-tech security firm that breaks into businesses, has lots of potential, but I just didnt find myself laughing much in the pilot. Solid production values, check. Engaging leads in Brett 'Reaper' Harrison and Christian Slater, check. But minimal laughs and an annoying supporting cast don't do much to elevate this newbie. I saw enough to check it out again next week, but if it's much of the same, I'll be breaking Out. C+

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Spring/Winter TV Review: Chaos

Kudos to CBS for stepping out of their comfort zone and trying something a little more fun in tone than the usual parade of procedurals. Unfortunately, the cast is a misfire, save for lead Rodriguez, and the opener was a little plodding and not funny or absurd enough to really make me want to continue with it. And judging by the piss-poor ratings from the Friday pilot, CBS would have to agree. C

Winter/Spring TV Review: The Borgia's

How could Showtime get this wrong? How could they take one of the most decadent people in the history of Popes and make it talking and boring? Maybe future episodes will up the excitement level, but I was terribly bored out of my mind waiting for something - ANYTHING - to happen. For a show that's being compared to The Sopranos in the ads, The Borgia's is big misfire. ANd I feel bad for it because there is an obvious amount of money invested in the sets and production. But already 2 hours of my life have been wasted on the pilot, and I just don't feel like giving the show anymore of my time. D+

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

WINTER TV ROUND-UP: 2011

Here are the rankings of the new shows airing on TV this winter, judged solely on the pilot episodes only. To qualify, I will be reviewing every new show on the Big Five, be it a drama, comedy or reality show. I will also be reviewing all new scripted fare on the cable nets, as well as select reality shows such as FACE OFF on SyFy.

GAME OF THRONES (HBO) A+
THE VOICE (NBC) A
HAPPY ENDINGS (ABC) A
SHAMELESS (SHOWTIME) A-
CAMELOT (STARZ) A-
BEING HUMAN (SYFY) A-
FACE OFF (SYFY) A-
THE KILLING (ANC) A-
SKINS (MTV) A-
MAD LOVE (CBS) B+
MR SUNSHINE (ABC) B+
GIGOLOS (SHOWTIME) B
MARCEL'S QUANTUM KITCHEN (SYFY) B
HARRY'S LAW (NBC) B
THE CAPE (NBC) B
EPISODES (SHOWTIME) B-
RETIRED AT 35 (TVLAND) B-
AFTER LATELY (E!) B-
LIVE TO DANCE (CBS) B-
BREAKING IN (FOX) C+
WORKING CLASS (CMT) C+
PORTLANDIA (IFC) C+
OFF THE MAP (ABC) C+
LIGHTS OUT (FX) C+
REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI (BRAVO) C+
SERIOUSLY FUNNY KIDS (Lifetime) C+
AMERICAS NEXT GREAT RESTAURANT (NBC) C
FAIRLY LEGAL (USA) C
BREAKOUT KINGS (A&E) C
CHAOS (CBS) C
PIER'S MORGAN TONIGHT (CNN) C
CALL ME FITZ (DIRECTV) C-
TRAFFIC LIGHT (FOX) C-
THE CHICAGO CODE (FOX) C-
EBERT PRESENTS AT THE MOVIES (PBS) C-
THE BORGIA'S (SHOWTIME) D+
PERFECT COUPLES (NBC) D+
LET'S STAY TOGETHER (BET) D+
SHEDDING FOR THE WEDDING (CW) D+
THE PAUL REISER SHOW (NBC) D
BODY OF PROOF (ABC) D
WORKAHOLICS (COMEDY) D
BOB'S BURGERS (FOX) D-
JAMES ELLROY'S LA (Invest. Disc.) F
ONION NEWS NETWORK (IFC) F
ONION SPORTSDOME (COMEDY) F
CRIMINAL MINDS: SUSPECT BEHAVIOR (CBS) F

Winter/Spring TV Review: Body of Proof

It goes without saying that Dana Delany is a really good actress, but that's about all that ABC's Body of Proof has going for it. Indeed, we've seen this Quincy/Crossing Jordan procedural stuff all before, and in more exciting ways. It's routine, and most of all, boring. I couldnt even get through the pilot episode, I was that bored and turned off. Sorry, but another new show bites the dust in one of the worst TV years creatively in memory. D

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Networks in Review: FOX

With the exception of GLEE and the minor success of RAISING HOPE, Fox had a tough time in the fall, where new shows LONESTAR and RUNNING WILD quickly tanked. Other shows then started to show signs of age, including the still-potent (for now) HOUSE and LIE TO ME. BONES was a perk, though. And FRINGE relocated to Fridays with so-so results (but did improve former occupant GOOD GUYS and was just renewed). Winter replacement shows largely failed (TRAFFIC LIGHT and BOBS BURGERS should be canned ASAP, while THE CHICAGO CODE isnt doing any better than LIE TO ME).
Then there is the phenonemon of AMERICAN IDOL which held up surprisingly well post-Simon Cowell. Thank GOD for AI, eh FOX execs?
Looking ahead is a different story...come fall 2011 FOX has two very highly anticipated new shows: TERRA NOVA and THE X FACTOR. They also have a huge utility player with JJ ABRAMS in the pilot ALCATRAZ (though JJ is no sure-fire thing, witness UNDERCOVERS for proof).
I think FOX should just chalk up this year as the calm before the storm because 2011-2012 is going to ROCK!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Networks in Review: CBS

Without a doubt, CBS has been the most consistent network in terms of scripted shows for the past decade, relying almost exclusively on crime procedurals to get total viewers to sample their goods, and this season was no exception, with CBS being the only network to give all their new fall shows full-season orders (though its doubtful that THE DEFENDERS and SHIT MY DAD SAYS will get second-seaon renewals). MIKE & MOLLY, HAWAII FIVE-0 and BLUE BLOODS all did solid business, though none were ratings powerhouses (a sad theme for all new shows this year). The NCIS and CSI franchises are still top 30 contenders, and SURVIVOR and AMAZING RACE still deliver big ratings. Even the comedies did well, with TWO AND A HALF MEN soaring high before flaming out with Charlie Sheen early last month, effectively cutting the 8th season of the comedy short by 8 episodes. Mid-season shows like MAD LOVE and SUSPECT BEHAVIOR were luke warm, and LIVE TO DANCE was an out-right dud. Next up is CHAOS next week. So yeah, there are some holes to fill for next season, but nothing so dramatic that CBS needs to be shaking in their boots.

Networks in Review: The CW

Two years ago The CW had one of those development seasons that rocked when they picked up MELROSE PLACE (it had the buzz, but didnt deliver) and THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (one of their biggest hits out of the gate), then came this last fall and we were served up the pathetic HELLCATS and the snoozy NIKITA. The only other new show was this winter's forgettable dud SHEDDING FOR THE WEDDING. So, as far as new blood goes, The CW failed to deliver. And their other shows are all aging, though SUPERNATURAL, 90210 and GOSSIP GIRL still work, in my opinion...as does SMALLVILLE, but it was already pre0determined to depart. AMERICAS NEXT TOP MODEL is sagging, as is ONE TREE HILL. So going into next season, The CW needs a new 'tude and look...and with Dawn Ostroff leaving her post, it's possible that The CW can turn around a bit.